I was really sad to hear this past weekend about my um, friend, who took a tumble on her beloved scooter, especially
after my October announcement that scooters were making a comeback on
campus. As I understand it, the once flawless beauty was coasting
through the intersection of Jefferson and McClintock Friday night when
the front wheel hit the curb too slowly. The impact caused her to fly
forwards and land on the sidewalk in an embarrassing display of eating
shit.

We
tracked down one student who actually witnessed the event: “I heard
this big thwack on the pavement, and I looked over…it was totally that
girl! I’ve seen her sometimes riding that giant scooter board thing
through the crosswalk. She was on the ground clutching her knee and
going “OWWWW IT HURTS OMG THIS SUCKS…’ Then she got up and sort of
hobbled away next to the scooter. That’s about it.”

A
bruised knee and some scraped up hands has made my friend not only
super pissy but made her seriously question exactly how awesome a
scooter is. She mentioned going back to bikes (no, that didn’t work out
when she ran into a stop sign on Trousdale), or a skateboard (she can’t
even balance on one leg let alone wheels with no handlebars!!). She
really thought a scooter was the perfect solution, and now… NOW…?

Maybe
all she needs is time. But the scooter, folded so neatly in the corner
of the apartment, continues to taunt her. First came the nightmares:
happily scootering down Jefferson, not a care in the world, when
suddenly an evil scootering Satan makes an earthquake split the sidewalk
into a million pieces, and she goes flying down, down, down, into a
fiery hell of people pointing and laughing at fallen scooter victims…

Then came the anxiety. Simply watching other people
scooter around campus has seriously messed her up. The other day, she
yelled for a Razor rider to “Look out!” upon seeing him happily scooter
down a driveway. The dude was all like, “What’s your problem?” and it
was then she realized scootering had fucked with her head.

But for how long? Perhaps forever. Perhaps I, I mean, my friend,
will never get over the fall. She just had so much hope for scooters.
She spent $200 on the coolest looking one. People would stop her on the
street and say “Uhhh what is that?” because her scooter was so crazy
awesome looking! There was no denying she was the shit.

Sometimes
all she can think about is taking the scooter back, but it’s going to
take a lot more than just being awesome. It’s going to take trust, and
reliability, and not tripping on curbs…

Maybe someday she’ll get back on. Maybe. And on that day, scooters will rise again.

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