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Article by Rud
January 29, 2012

Ten Ways to Make Your Professor Hate You

1. On every essay exam, write 4 different ‘options’ as answers. On multiple choice exams, write long descriptions of your answer in the margins. Tell her you just don’t ‘get’ testing. 2. No matter what the subject matter is, whenever a question is asked in class, always relate your answer to Harry Potter. Hitler—>Voldemort. Jesus—>Harry.... MORE »

Article by Rud
January 5, 2012

10 Ridiculously Impractical Ways to Stay Warm This Winter (Cuse)

This article is part of our “Let’s Keep This Website Awesome Over Winter Break” Tournament series. Check out the opposing article here and be sure to ‘like’ your favorite! Peel Otto open. Crawl inside. Burrow yourself. Were talking two birds here: food and warmth. Let the force be with you. Pay a group of freshmen... MORE »

Article by maxmartinez
December 18, 2011

The NYC Tech Campus: Cornell’s Plan to Take Over the World

On Friday, it was announced that Cornell received a $350 million dollar donation to help their bid for a tech campus on Roosevelt Island in New York City. Cornell’s bid is now at $2 billion dollars and they are now the front-runners to win this opportunity. What people do not know is that there is... MORE »

Article by Piliour
December 13, 2011

How to Use a Campus Computer During Finals Week

It’s 6:42 AM. Finals week. You’ve taken enough Adderall to cure yourself of that annoying sitting still habit you used to have. You haven’t slept in 39 hours. You haven’t had sex in 32 hours. You’ve watched so much porn to distract yourself from this 20-page paper that’s due in less than four hours that... MORE »

Article by Rud
November 21, 2011 1 Comment

UC System To Begin Routine Beatings of Students

After the events that occurred on UC Davis’s and Berkeley’s campuses this past month, many people expected that the universities would strive to protect their reputations through support for peaceful protests and apologies for their resident police departments’ actions. Not the case. In fact, the UC system announced today that it would begin routine beatings... MORE »

Article by Chris Varney
November 16, 2011

“Take an Add Sheet, dammit.”

“Add sheet? Add sheet! Just a guy handing out Add sheets. Who likes a bargain? I know I do. Add sheet! They’re free! Coupons for over a hundred of you’re favorite stores in the greater Columbia area!” “Add sheet? No? Add sheet! No? Here, take an add sheet!….Do what? To myself? That’s not even possible... MORE »

Article by Rud
November 11, 2011 1 Comment

10 Awesome Ways to Make Your Roommate Move Out

Start every day off with a hot coffee and a showing of “The Human Centipede” on your shared TV. Refuse to wear headphones and make sure you’re in all 8am classes. Find out when his/her class discussions are. Go to them and drunkenly make fun of him/her when he/she starts to talk. Phrases like “you... MORE »

Article by BradBabendir
November 7, 2011

MU transitioning to ‘Cool Free’ campus

There are some invariable and inescapable facts about smoking tobacco. The first is that every cigarette you light up affords you anywhere between six and 12 cool points. This fluctuation depends on brand, but free cool points are free cool points. The second is that it will eventually kill you, but so will breathing and... MORE »