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If you are a student at Bryant, you know that finals week occupies 99% of your grade during 1% of the semester. Accordingly, you have focused all of your time and effort to not failing any of your courses. What you have missed is obvious miscues from several branches on campus. We have highlighted just... MORE »
It’s 6:42 AM. Finals week. You’ve taken enough Adderall to cure yourself of that annoying sitting still habit you used to have. You haven’t slept in 39 hours. You haven’t had sex in 32 hours. You’ve watched so much porn to distract yourself from this 20-page paper that’s due in less than four hours that... MORE »
On the first day of Christmas, Professor gave to me: A night of binge drinking. On the second day of Christmas, Professor gave to me: 2 hours of sleep, And a night of binge drinking. On the third day of Christmas, Professor gave to me: 3 books to read (where do I buy books?), 2... MORE »
‘Sup, my nuggets? That’s the safest way I can use the word I should be allowed to use, but fuckin’ peepz don’t get that I’m fuckin’ Sirius: mad black, yo. Dat’s da bull standard for ya, da bullshit standard. N E way, hope your all treatin’ you’re final exams like butts and stickin’ it to... MORE »
Halloween 2011 is on a Monday. Whose idea was that again? Pope Gregory XIII? I do have some good news. In exchange for Halloween 2011 being on a Monday, Halloween 2013 is going to be on a Thursday. Current freshmen and sophomores (and a handful of juniors) can party up 10/31/13 in high (probably, drunk... MORE »
Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, the Loch Ness monster, a good Nicholas Cage movie, Fall break. What do all of these things have in common? They’re not real. Come on, you didn’t really think you were going to get an entire 4 days off in the middle of the Fall semester did you? “But Yom... MORE »
Syracuse Sophomore, Jerry Long put more effort into his last history paper than he did any of his other paper’s combined. Jerry made a promise to himself that he would have his paper finished on time, despite his friends attempts to get him to “hit the octobong” with them. “I knew that this was the... MORE »
3 am, You are steadily approaching as my mac battery slowly dwindles. My article is not read and my paper is not started, yet I wait for your arrival with outstretched arms. I stay quiet during your presence to avoid waking up my innocent room mate, fearing her intrusion on our rendezvous. You bring along... MORE »