After a solid win against West Virginia on Monday, Syracuse Orange basketball coach Jim Boeheim was anything but sunny, as he went off on a rant blaming the media for bias and negativity in their reporting of SU’s struggles in Big East play, most notably an embarrassing loss to Seton Hall by 20 points. Though Boeheim has characterized his team as “the most overrated team he’s had in 35 years,” the Hall-of-Fame coach felt slighted by the animosity he’d received recently in the local news.

“You’re the people being negative,” he said to reporters post-game, “And some of the fans. Listen, Carmelo Anthony is not walking through that door, fans. Derrick Coleman is not walking through that door, and Wes Johnson is not walking through that door. And if you expect them to walk through that door, well, they’re going to be totally ineligible to play for us anyway under NCAA guidelines.

“Coleman especially, he’s gotta be like, what, 65 years old now? And probably couldn’t post up my cat at this point.”

Boeheim painted a rosy picture of the future for the Orange, while taking no blame for their woes this season.

“What we are is young, exciting, hard-working, and we’re going to improve. People don’t realize that, and as soon as they realize that those guys are not walking through that door, the better this town will be for all of us.

“Also because college basketball is the only thing you aging unemployed factory workers have to cling to in this frozen tundra of sadness and failure that you call a city.”

When asked if it was a good idea to have the same stupid predictable defensive scheme in every game that any coach with a pulse and 3rd grade critical thinking skills can destroy if he has players who can shoot from the perimeter and finish easily in transition, Boeheim had no comment.