Last Thursday morning, Syracuse University Chancellor Nancy Cantor announced the opening of the new Connective Corridor. What used to be a dangerous labyrinth of a bus system, filled with crackheads, the homeless, and the occasional SU student, is now a smooth sailing Gondola Lift.

The Gondola, commonly referred to as “The Bus that Flies” by drunkards, will operate on Friday and Saturday nights from 7 PM to 2 AM. The launch of this new program was quiet, and a quick survey of students showed that few actually knew anything about it.

“Yeah, I mean I always wanted to go downtown, but I never knew how to approach it,” claimed Engineering senior Cabot White. “It’s like, do I go first? Does she go first?”¦..Oh, you mean the Gondola. Well I haven’t ridden it yet.”

However, there have been some complications with the system. At 1:00 AM on Friday night, Syracuse police found a student, Fred Davidson, who had been riding in the Gondola for 3 hours.

“It was the worst cab ride of my life. I kept yelling ‘Let me out here!’ to the cab driver, but he wouldn’t pull over!”

When informed that he was on a Gondola Lift, and not a cab, Davidson screamed, “Well, what the [explicative]! I spent 3 hours riding that thing and now all I want do is throw up.”

That’s what she said.