Syracuse University made a controversial decision Sunday evening when they decided to make the flag-waving man from Nas and Damien Marley’s Block Party set their commencement speaker. Some students are outraged over the flag-wielding entertainer’s lack of credentials; an equal amount of students are “legit pumped to see this guy work his magic again for 4 hours.”

Other possible candidates for speaker were soundly cast aside after Saturday night’s performance. University officials were in agreement that the man “said so much without saying anything at all.” 
“Through his touching and passionate performance, the Syracuse community was able to truly grasp what it means to wield a flag. It is no longer simply an activity for cheerleading rejects. Flag-wielding is the future; job prospects are expected to see a 300% increase in the next year. We have officially reached the flag-wielding age.” a University spokesperson proudly proclaimed.
Students are neither encouraged nor forbidden to take ecstasy before the ceremonies.