As the website grows and more people read our articles, it’s
come to our attention that lots of people may be asking what the FUCK is
this? Which is understandable. I mean, our name suggests drug deals and
other illegal activities. But like, are
these articles serious shit or did we just pull them out of our asses?
This site can contain complete bullshit articles that have
no background research to articles that would make our journalism professors teary-eyed
and faint (with joy, of course).
So to aid you on your journey through the basement, here are
a few things you should just assume when you click on an article. This way if you’re a little sensitive, you’ve
steeled yourself for the worst.
Assume nothing is true.
We are all liars, cheats, and alcoholics. Real talk.
Immediately jump to the conclusion that the article is about
racism, fat people, or rape. We are mean, mean people.
The authors of these articles do certain activities before writing
to get in the mood, such as kicking puppies or eating candy in front of small,
hungry children. We also don’t like
babies.
So now you know to have a blankie and tissue box on hand
when you pull up an article. But there’s
something else you should probably know before you dive in. It’s this one word that starts with “s” and
ends in “atire.” It’s what this entire site is based on and readers seem a
little confused when it comes to understanding this word. Big problem, yeah? I
mean, dictionaries do exist online ““ you wouldn’t even have to get off your ass
to figure it out! But we’ll give you a little insider glimpse into what it
really means right here and now.
Satire ““ making fun of stuff. Said stuff could be stupid or serious, it
doesn’t matter. We just like talking
shit.
Now, young padawan, you are prepared to face the horrors
that reside in the basement. And maybe
crack a smile once in a while. Love it
or hate it, write us a comment. We are
just starting up so all feedback is welcome!
Even the ones that make us want to slap a hoe. But if there’s one thing we’ve learned as a
staff so far, it’s this:
#HatersGonHate
