Wash U’s Office of Public Relations revealed a shameful
secret yesterday””the curricular planner function on Webstac, designed to help
students organize the credits they must achieve to graduate, was designed by
Detlef von Braun, formerly a rocket scientist in Hitler’s Third Reich.


Von Braun worked closely with Hitler and other SS
higher-ups, and his research helped to create rockets that were directly used
by the Nazis in combat.  He came to
America 1945 under a discreet operation that aimed to excuse German scientists
of war crimes in exchange for their cooperation with the United States


Wash U’s board of trustees is already in a panic, and two
large corporate sponsors to the university have already pledged to cease
donations beginning in the coming fiscal year.


Students, however, are less surprised.  “I totally saw it coming,” said Emily
Lipton, a sophomore.  “It’s so
confusing, hard to understand”¦diabolical, really”¦the kind of thing only a Nazi
is capable of.”


“I spent weeks trying to figure it out,” echoed Jonathan
Pinsky, a junior.  “And when I
finally did, it said I never took Writing 1.  Damn that kraut bastard!  Damn him to hell!”


Von Braun was unavailable for comment as he has been dead
for 37 years.