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Yawn outside! Stay out of class! Do whatever it is you need to do to get over it!
Get up and walk the hell out!
Coming soon….”I Yawned” tees in Men, Women and Kids sizes.
One more post about the yawning scandal and I’m DONE, promise. This was too funny to pass up, though – check out this homemade Cornellian video in response to the infamous freakout. I am now going to lock myself in the library for the next 48 hours now. Bye. MORE »
Well now that poor ol’ Professor Talbert’s yawn-induced temper tantrum has literally hit every single gossip/humor/news website on the internet, his students from his Friday Business Computing lecture – yes, the same group of students who witnessed firsthand his freakout – decided to give Prof T a little taste of his own medicine by staging... MORE »
Marc Stinsmore is absolutely certain that there is a typo on much of the Cornell University apparel. Stinsmore, a freshman, insists, “They spelled the word “gorgeous’ incorrectly and I demand that it be corrected. How is Cornell even an Ivy if they can’t spell a simple word? It’s embarrassing.” Stinsmore’s peers have attempted, however... MORE »
This article is part of our “Let’s Keep This Website Awesome Over Winter Break” Tournament series. Check out the opposing article here and be sure to ‘like’ your favorite! YOOO FAT WHITE BIIIITCH!!! So like my bizniss manager sed it’d be a good meiffovve to write you a lettttter about shit I wnt in my... MORE »
Cornell’s Greek Week the past two years have fallen on the weekend of the Jewish Holiday, Rosh Hashanah. Cornell is 35% Jewish and Greek Life at Cornell is probably at least 50%. This causes a major conflict for the Pan-Hellenic Association and everyone involved in the Greek week extravaganza.                No one participates in Greek... MORE »
Dear Blackboard Tech Staff, Nobody knows what the “community” tab is! Every time any student goes to blackboard they need to take the extra step to click on the “my blackboard” tab…why are you trying to make our lives more difficult than they already are? Sincerely, Cornellians MORE »
This morning the Cornell community was shocked by the news that came out of the Arts Quad. It all started this morning when sophomore Mickey Josephs went to CUPD claiming he saw the ghost of Ezra Cornell when he climbed up the McGraw Clock Tower late Saturday evening. While this is hard to imagine happening,... MORE »
This past Wednesday, researchers at the Cornell Department of Policy Analysis and Management were shocked to discover that marijuana would totally be legal if stoners weren’t too lazy to actually take political action on the issue. “After conducting a thorough and comprehensive analysis on cannabis facts, we were surprised to find that there is... MORE »
For some people, there’s nothing like taking a quick cigarette break in between a class or during a timeout from an intense study session in the library. Unfortunately, the next time that craving hits you, you’ll have to walk to Collegetown to do it. This morning President David J. Skorton announced that the administration voted... MORE »
Semen is not water soluble!!!! MORE »
After last Friday’s 85-degree weather, it appears that Cornell University has used all of its spring maintenance funding on keeping the Lake Effects snow out of the forecast, not accounting for the shocking, yet annual, mid-April snow and sleet storm. While on a campus tour this morning, a pre-frosh was overheard stating “well, it can... MORE »
Ezra Cornell was actually a pretty twisted President. When he founded Cornell he also said that at the 147th (arbitrary number chosen similar practice done by the Mayans for their calendars) Commencement, rather than have the standard “all rise and all sit, congratulations you’ve graduated” at the ceremony, all 4 state colleges will have a... MORE »
What some people thought was an April Fools joke at Cornell University was actually reality! Oprah was at Cornell. But, how did nobody know about her arrival, her stay or her departure? If anyone could pull off a magic trick like this it is David Blaine. Yes, Cornellians that is right. Cornell Administrators paid David... MORE »
Go to time 2:10 MORE »
A new business study from the Dyson School at Cornell shows that undergraduates only eat frozen yogurt at two points: when they are drunk or when the sun has completely set. When the Daily Sun article came out, students were confused as to whether or not this article was meant to be written for the... MORE »
Yesterday, outside Olin Library, Lefties came together to protest against the abundance of righty desks and lack of lefty desks around Cornell’s Campus. With so many famous, successful, lefties, it is disturbing to these students that they are underrepresented. “We used to be persecuted against. There’s a long history of discrimination against our people. My... MORE »
Dear guy sitting behind me in Mann who keeps making sighing noises, I REFUSE to turn around and acknowledge you. I don’t care, I won’t turn around and look at you. Others might, but not me. Your sighs are getting louder and closer together like you’re having contractions. I WON’T look back. Eyes on my... MORE »
Oh and don’t worry it’s not Khloe…she and Lamar are like a rock. Sturdy and round. Some people have been trying to throw viewers off course by saying that Kim Kardashian is dating Jeremy Lin of the New York Knicks. But we all know she is trying to steer clear of athletes and singers due... MORE »
Ithaca has gorges, wineries, Cornell, Applefest and Chilifest. That’s about it. There is nothing else going for this city so it is important to know how to make the best of what you have. 1. Never pay for chili: you might be asking….how can I enjoy such a glorious day without paying for any chili? ah... MORE »
1. A Photo Framed of Yourself: you know that you’re in a terrible relationship when you boyfriend gives you a framed picture of himself for Valentine’s Day. Yes, GQ rated us the doucheiest school in the country, but your boyfriend takes the cake. His graduation photo with the cap and gown…what are you his Aunt?... MORE »
Agreed upon by some disagreed upon by few….these are the shits that we say up in here. MORE »
Everyone at Cornell (except transfers…how come they get away with this?) has to take two gym classes and a swim test before they are able to graduate. For some reason it is important that we have both academic knowledge and have 6 credits worth of some physical activity knowledge. We are a well rounded university!... MORE »
Even though, in recent weeks, the weather in Ithaca has been unseasonably warm, because of lack of alcohol during pledging students have found themselves feeling like a foreigner….cold as ice (to any 80s music fans out there). “I used to wear a liquor jacket out ever night. Now I’m freezing outside because I can actually... MORE »
Ah yes, another “you know you go to Cornell when” photo. This is more than that though. This is a warning sign. If you see this car be cautious, the people on board are angry because they are most likely hungry. Additionally they are probably mad at you because you support hydrofracking even though you... MORE »
So you’re probably thinking, why don’t I know anything about sports? I am a guy and I want to join a frat. Not the typical stereotype now, am I? Yeah, breaking barriers! Anyway, I played sports when I was a kid. Standard, Little League and soccer where everyone runs around chasing the ball and there... MORE »
Dear Cornell, Thank you. Sincerely, Graduating seniors and recent alums Yes, we thank you for all the hard work you have put in, to make us want to leave your campus, and be okay with the fact that our jobs are so competitive and demanding that we are unable to make the trip to come... MORE »
This article is part of our “Let’s Keep This Website Awesome Over Winter Break” Tournament series. Check out the opposing article here and be sure to ‘like’ your favorite! YOOO FAT WHITE BIIIITCH!!! So like my bizniss manager sed it’d be a good meiffovve to write you a lettttter about shit I wnt in my... MORE »
I used to go to a real school. One where there were tailgates and acid dropping on a Monday at 6pm before Lab and a real Greek Week/Homecoming. Ah yes and one where the Jewish Council students broke it down real hard in the library during finals week. At Cornell we have Club Mann…..at UMD... MORE »
