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Sticky Situation
Semen is not water soluble!!!!
How to Not Look like a Crack Whore
Cornell University wants their students to be well put together during job interviews. No school wants students to portray their university poorly. So, due to the raging number of, coked up, 80s rock band groupies, coming out of Cornell, Ives Hall thought it necessary to post these do’s and dont’s of job interview attire. We... MORE »
Student Suspended For Attending Too Many Classes
Do you often feel overwhelmed because you are taking too many credits? Do you just go to other classes to just acquire more knowledge? No, I’m pretty sure you and I both don’t. That isn’t the case with junior Megan Kim of the engineering school, who was suspended from Cornell for attending too many classes... MORE »
You’ve Done it Again. RIP Palms O’Clock.
Dear Cornell, Thank you. Sincerely, Graduating seniors and recent alums Yes, we thank you for all the hard work you have put in, to make us want to leave your campus, and be okay with the fact that our jobs are so competitive and demanding that we are unable to make the trip to come... MORE »
Study Shows C.U. Has Most ‘Paper Gangsters’ in U.S.
Somewhere in between the wigs, hats, and jockstraps in the back of her closet, Lady Gaga once coined the term ‘paper gangster’. A paper gangster is defined by Urban Dictionary as a bulls*** fake wanna-be who tries to be ghetto, thinks he/she is from the streets, and is a punk-ass mother****** who should be listening... MORE »
D-List Frat Plans a Mixer With A-List Sorority
No one shows up. MORE »
Adamant Student: “Cornell Is Gorgeous, Not Gorges!”
Marc Stinsmore is absolutely certain that there is a typo on much of the Cornell University apparel. Stinsmore, a freshman, insists, “They spelled the word “gorgeous’ incorrectly and I demand that it be corrected. How is Cornell even an Ivy if they can’t spell a simple word? It’s embarrassing.” Stinsmore’s peers have attempted, however... MORE »
Smart vs Attractive
you will never win MORE »
Ezra Cornell Was Black
Ever since Cornell University was established back in 1865, students and faculty have pondered, “Who is Mr. Cornell?”, “How did he create such a prestigious University?”, and of course, “Was that dude black?” We can’t deny the glaring facts of this mans past. 1. Cornell was founded in 1865. The very same year the Civil... MORE »
Student Lights Fireworks Inside College Ave. House
The 4th of July is a time to appreciate our country, spend time with friends and family, throw down some burgers and dogs, and light fireworks. Theodore Briggs missed the memo that fireworks are illegal in New York, and also forgot that you are supposed to light them outside. At a late-morning barbecue on College... MORE »
I don’t like titles
Except when its sean connery mispronouncing them in an snl jeopardy, and you can see it here https://www.myspace.com/video/vid/31133142. Anywho, I’ve got a few beats that have been stuck in my head for weeks now. First and foremost, I re-discovered this song recently and have since re-fallen in love with it again…kind of like the plot... MORE »
We Be Diverse, Says Skorton
President Skorton issued a statement regarding the University’s new diversity goals in an e-mail to the entire student body on Wednesday. Skorton and the deans are promising to amp up diversity at Cornell. And by “amp up,” they clearly mean “initiate.” If you didn’t catch the drift of the President’s statement for a number of... MORE »