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Christmas Comes Early ;)
Picture by
apost
November 8, 2010 at 12:10 pm
Justin Timberlake may have put his dick in a box...but that doesn't come close to a dick in a Santa Hat.
Student accidentally calls professor
This past week during a small lecture multiple students overheard one student call their professor “Mommy” after class while asking her to clarify an equation she had written on the board. “I was so confused” reflected one student, “but I felt bad for him, no one wants to call their professor Mommy, it’s just awkward... MORE »
Cornell Cheerleading. They are the shit. Literally.
Bill SimmonsESPN.com Page 2March 24, 2008 …we happened to be sitting near the Cornell section for the Cornell-Stanford blowout and saw fans wearing Cornell jerseys and red paint. You have to love March Madness if only for the thought of someone buying a Cornell jersey five years ago and saying, “Some day, we’ll make the... MORE »
Technologically Retarded and Why Professors Are Hypocrites
Don’t you hate it when professors tell you to turn off your cell phones when you’re in class or keep them on silent? Clearly having my phone constantly in my hand during your class is the only thing keeping me from falling asleep. What would you prefer? But, what I hate more than that is... MORE »
In Epic Showdown in NYC, Big Red Bear tears down Stanford Tree
UPDATE: After a short and brief skirmish this past weekend, Cornell has taken out the rest of its competitors and won the fight. NEW YORK, NY ““ Millions of New Yorkers watched in awe this past Friday as the Big Red Bear tore down the Stanford Tree in an epic battle raging on Roosevelt Island.... MORE »
Cornell Halloween Mob
A massive group of Cornell students in Halloween costumes began to dance in the middle of the street in Collegetown this weekend. People have been referring to this as a flash mob. But in actuality it was just an unorganized mob of drunk people who thought they were at Dino’s #awkwardthatbarsclosed. MORE »
Sober Sophomore Wanders into Nasties ““ Unsure What to Do
Local Sophomore Brian Ritzoff was in a bit of a bind last Friday afternoon when he found himself to be both sober and at Nasties ““ simultaneously. “So, like, what should I even order?” asked Brian. “Chicken nuggets? Would those even taste good right now?” As Brian stood there paralyzed by indecision, a Townhouse kid... MORE »
Cornell Freshmen Outraged to Discover that Costume Contest was Actually Student Assembly Elections
NORTH CAMPUS ““ Freshmen across Cornell University’s North Campus were shocked and infuriated to find out that what they believed to be a costume contest over the past couple of weeks was actually Student Assembly Elections. “I just can’t believe this,” says freshmen student Katie Gold. “Just a few nights ago I was walking... MORE »
We Be Diverse, Says Skorton
President Skorton issued a statement regarding the University’s new diversity goals in an e-mail to the entire student body on Wednesday. Skorton and the deans are promising to amp up diversity at Cornell. And by “amp up,” they clearly mean “initiate.” If you didn’t catch the drift of the President’s statement for a number of... MORE »
Gorge Jumping!
Here are some clips of people taking the plunge at the famous Cornell gorges. MORE »
Sun meets daily quota of 6 errors. Editors celebrate success
And I quote… “During that semester, I experienced more diversity than I probably ever will again. From trying new foods and learning about the United Arab Emeritus” ….Terrorists have attacked for far less than not knowing the name of one of the richest federations in the world. MORE »
No Spring Maintenance….
After last Friday’s 85-degree weather, it appears that Cornell University has used all of its spring maintenance funding on keeping the Lake Effects snow out of the forecast, not accounting for the shocking, yet annual, mid-April snow and sleet storm. While on a campus tour this morning, a pre-frosh was overheard stating “well, it can... MORE »
Hunger Games At Cornell: Which College Will Win?
Ezra Cornell was actually a pretty twisted President. When he founded Cornell he also said that at the 147th (arbitrary number chosen similar practice done by the Mayans for their calendars) Commencement, rather than have the standard “all rise and all sit, congratulations you’ve graduated” at the ceremony, all 4 state colleges will have a... MORE »
Cornell University Hides Oprah
What some people thought was an April Fools joke at Cornell University was actually reality! Oprah was at Cornell. But, how did nobody know about her arrival, her stay or her departure? If anyone could pull off a magic trick like this it is David Blaine. Yes, Cornellians that is right. Cornell Administrators paid David... MORE »
Mayor Bloomberg Professes Love to Cornell in Song and Dance:
Go to time 2:10 MORE »
Yogurt Crazy Bases Hours on New Cornell Study
A new business study from the Dyson School at Cornell shows that undergraduates only eat frozen yogurt at two points: when they are drunk or when the sun has completely set. When the Daily Sun article came out, students were confused as to whether or not this article was meant to be written for the... MORE »
Breaking News: Lefties Protest Outside Olin
Yesterday, outside Olin Library, Lefties came together to protest against the abundance of righty desks and lack of lefty desks around Cornell’s Campus. With so many famous, successful, lefties, it is disturbing to these students that they are underrepresented. “We used to be persecuted against. There’s a long history of discrimination against our people. My... MORE »
Study Buddy: A Cornell Basement Syndicated Column
Dear guy sitting behind me in Mann who keeps making sighing noises, I REFUSE to turn around and acknowledge you. I don’t care, I won’t turn around and look at you. Others might, but not me. Your sighs are getting louder and closer together like you’re having contractions. I WON’T look back. Eyes on my... MORE »
RUMORS: Ithaca Mayor dating a Kardashian?
Oh and don’t worry it’s not Khloe…she and Lamar are like a rock. Sturdy and round. Some people have been trying to throw viewers off course by saying that Kim Kardashian is dating Jeremy Lin of the New York Knicks. But we all know she is trying to steer clear of athletes and singers due... MORE »
How to Have a Successful Chilifest: Ithaca 2012
Ithaca has gorges, wineries, Cornell, Applefest and Chilifest. That’s about it. There is nothing else going for this city so it is important to know how to make the best of what you have. 1. Never pay for chili: you might be asking….how can I enjoy such a glorious day without paying for any chili? ah... MORE »
Top 5 Worst Gifts Received on Valentine’s Day: Cornell Style
1. A Photo Framed of Yourself: you know that you’re in a terrible relationship when you boyfriend gives you a framed picture of himself for Valentine’s Day. Yes, GQ rated us the doucheiest school in the country, but your boyfriend takes the cake. His graduation photo with the cap and gown…what are you his Aunt?... MORE »
Shit Cornellians at Cornell Say
Agreed upon by some disagreed upon by few….these are the shits that we say up in here. MORE »
BREAKING NEWS: Cornell Working to Hire Victor Cruz as Salsa 101 Instructor
Everyone at Cornell (except transfers…how come they get away with this?) has to take two gym classes and a swim test before they are able to graduate. For some reason it is important that we have both academic knowledge and have 6 credits worth of some physical activity knowledge. We are a well rounded university!... MORE »
Incidences of Hypothermia Increase Due to Lack of Alcohol During Pledging
Even though, in recent weeks, the weather in Ithaca has been unseasonably warm, because of lack of alcohol during pledging students have found themselves feeling like a foreigner….cold as ice (to any 80s music fans out there). “I used to wear a liquor jacket out ever night. Now I’m freezing outside because I can actually... MORE »
We Don’t Eat Meat….Or Products of Anything With Feelings
Ah yes, another “you know you go to Cornell when” photo. This is more than that though. This is a warning sign. If you see this car be cautious, the people on board are angry because they are most likely hungry. Additionally they are probably mad at you because you support hydrofracking even though you... MORE »
The Giants v. The 49ers: From a Guy Who Doesn’t Know About Sports
So you’re probably thinking, why don’t I know anything about sports? I am a guy and I want to join a frat. Not the typical stereotype now, am I? Yeah, breaking barriers! Anyway, I played sports when I was a kid. Standard, Little League and soccer where everyone runs around chasing the ball and there... MORE »
You’ve Done it Again. RIP Palms O’Clock.
Dear Cornell, Thank you. Sincerely, Graduating seniors and recent alums Yes, we thank you for all the hard work you have put in, to make us want to leave your campus, and be okay with the fact that our jobs are so competitive and demanding that we are unable to make the trip to come... MORE »
Drunk Letters To Santa (Cornell)
This article is part of our “Let’s Keep This Website Awesome Over Winter Break” Tournament series. Check out the opposing article here and be sure to ‘like’ your favorite! YOOO FAT WHITE BIIIITCH!!! So like my bizniss manager sed it’d be a good meiffovve to write you a lettttter about shit I wnt in my... MORE »
Transfer Pride: I used to go to Maryland
I used to go to a real school. One where there were tailgates and acid dropping on a Monday at 6pm before Lab and a real Greek Week/Homecoming. Ah yes and one where the Jewish Council students broke it down real hard in the library during finals week. At Cornell we have Club Mann…..at UMD... MORE »