It’s hard to walk outside these days and not pass by someone
with a pair of fake horn-rimmed glasses on and set of giant-ass headphones to
match. You find these folks hanging out in between buildings, smoking
self-rolled cigarettes, wearing their skinny jeans and beanies, and talking
about the importance of Stanley Kubrick films in relation to the relevance of
The Guess Who in the 1960’s.
These are hipsters.
And almost everyone finds them enormously annoying, for
being a hipster carries with it a banner of pretentiousness and exclusivity
that daunts even the most well-educated film/music/literature student. So in
the end, most people would rather all hipsters be forced to live in a deep hole
in the ground, never to be seen again so we never have to hear their incoherent
babbling about their far superior opinions about pieces of obscure pop culture
that literally no one cares about.
But yet”¦ there’s something undeniably appealing about hipsters.
I know that may sound like blasphemy to most but there are undeniable perks to
being a hipster.
You Get to Hang Out
with Other Hipsters and Not Feel Ashamed About It
Most people have at least one hipster friend. And most
people feel embarrassed by that person whenever they’re in public together. But
if you were both hipsters, then there’s absolutely no shame with hanging out
with that guy that prefers to be called 8-Track than his actual name of Samuel.
You could say that it could just as easily be for 8-Track to be called Samuel
and not be hipster so y’all could hang out together. But wait, there’s more”¦
You Get to Wear
Whatever You Want and It’s Totally Okay
The most commonly attributed feature to a hipster is how
they dress. One could act perfectly normal but be mistaken for a hipster based
off of their fashion sense. But if you look at it, hipsters dress better than
everyone else out there. Vests, scarves, beanies, stripes, flannel ““ all of
these things are things that most people wish they could pull off but don’t
seem to know how to/care to. But it’s not nearly about being able to pull off
articles of clothing that one wouldn’t normally be able to. A hipster could
also walk out the door wrapped in an extension chord and a bejeweled hockey
mask and it would totally be legit. Why? Because they’re a hipster and that’s
just what hipsters do. So it’s cool.
You Get to Know a
Shit-Ton About a Lot of Shit
One of the reasons hipsters’ opinionated jargon is so
frustrating is that most people don’t know what they’re talking about. That conversation about Kubrick and The
Guess Who is one that I have actually overheard and I wish I could have
participated in but alas, my exposure to The Guess Who is about as limited as
my knowledge about Kubrick and his films. Yet I watched in sheer awe, as these
two people were able to carry on such an in-depth conversation about these two
subjects of which I knew next to nothing. That’s not because I don’t want to
know anything about either The Guess Who or Stanley Kubrick, I just have never
felt any strong urge to seek out more and more about either of them. But being
a hipster, the thirst for that knowledge and understanding would be instilled
in my DNA and my desire to discuss this would be undying.
You Would Get to Be a
Pretentious Asshole and Get Away With It, Simply Because You’re a Hipster
As soon as your opinion escapes your mouth about something
that comes off even a tiny bit self-righteous or a little too pompous, you’re immediately
called a hipster. But hey, if you just were a hipster then your friends would
just shut up and be okay with what you said because, well, you are a hipster.
