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A Very Special Message from USC Basement
This goes out to everyone who supported USC Basement throughout this entire tournament. It goes without saying....Thank You.
The Single Life (for once, this is not about relationships!)
(Probably) like you, I was one of those normal American kids* who grew up with her own room. I moved several times, but throughout I had my own space – good desks, comfortable beds, the option to sneeze as loudly as I wanted without someone across the room being all judgy about it. Air conditioning.... MORE »
28th and Hoov
Deep in the middle of the sweltering concrete jungle of South Central Los Angeles lies a place of pleasure, and intrigue. It’s a place where underpaid, average looking, and piddling college students work hard and play harder, the kind of place where desperate people have a lot of sex with each other. This IS 28th... MORE »
Lena Dunham to release spoken word poetry album
Fueled by Ramen, the record label behind the soundtrack GIRLS Volume 1: Music from the Original HBO Series, announced today that they will be releasing an album of original spoken word poetry written and performed by none other than Lena Dunham herself. It comes as no surprise after Dunham signed a $3.7 million book deal for... MORE »
All Girls in Sorority House Hate Drama, Charlotte
As last nights chapter dinner, many more individual conversations, endless hours of research, and a recent press release from the sorority have revealed, All the girls in the Theta Delta Chi house have proclaimed that they, “Hate Drama.” Drama has been cast off by this group as, “Shitty,” and, “Annoying,” in the past. The... MORE »
[Insert Title of Your Own Creation Here!]
It’s been a while, Campus Basement. I’ve been, you know, living my life and stuff (#yolo, but I don’t think that’s a thing still #outdated? #sorry #ugh). Doing work. Sleeping. Going to Trader Joe’s. Watching Portlandia. Grumbling as I try to find a radio station that isn’t playing that stupid Bruno Mars song. Harboring a... MORE »
Music Festival Lineups Announced, Everyone Turns into Douchebags
“Dude, did you see the Bonnaroo lineup?” asked a tall, skinny white kid to his equally skinny white friend at the Campus Center this past Tuesday. “Dude. Dude!” We started to notice similar instances happening all around campus. One girl near our table in particular frantically proceeded to share jpegs of the Coachella lineup on each of... MORE »
Fighting On Elsewhere: A Daytrip to San Luis Obispo
Though the USC area certainly has its redeeming qualities (Spudnuts, USC, the UV movie theatre, the raccoon I once saw outside of my apartment building), the inhabitants of Figueroa etc. do occasionally long for time away from DPS reports, bike thieves, poor late night diet decisions, and the occasional vaguely rabid squirrel. That is where... MORE »
Student Asks Question To Prove He Doesn’t Need To Do So
As the second week of the semester closes, the material being covered in classes is finally starting to touch outside the realm of common sense. As we roll into week three the girl getting over some weight issues who just got her fake ID will once again be easier than your classes, and all will... MORE »
USC to Add More GE Classes because They Think Students Actually Like Them
“Who doesn’t love the General Education classes?” is the question with which USC President C.L. Max Nikias started off his public statement yesterday. And while somebody should have said, “NOBODY,” nobody did and he went on thinking that everyone does. In front of a small group of advisors and higher-ups here at the university, President... MORE »
“Trojan Family Room” renamed for napping purposes
Since its grand opening in 2010, the Ronald Tutor Campus Center has been quite the useful addition for all Trojans, from the outdoor International Plaza to the upstairs offices and Traditions in the basement. But the most useful of all, however, has been the grand entrance of Sample Hall, more commonly known as the “Trojan... MORE »
Weekly Sex: Never Been Kissed
Once a week has never been so satisfying. Weekly Sex, I’m not the only one in this situation, I’ve definitely talked to other people who are the same way, but it’s almost the end of freshman year and I’ve still never kissed anybody. Should I just keep waiting?? I don’t want all the pressure to... MORE »
Weekly Sex: The Spark
Once a week has never been so satisfying. Dear Weekly Sex, Ever since getting back from winter break, sex hasn’t really been the same with my partner. I guess since we haven’t been together in a little while, it feels kind of awkward. How can we bring back the spark? – Feeling Off Dear Mr./Miss... MORE »
Why USC Should Win The Campus Basement Inaugural Tournament
And The Winner Is… This article is part of our “Let’s Keep This Website Awesome Over Winter Break” Tournament series. Check out the opposing article here and be sure to share your favorite! Voting ends for this final round matchup at 9pm PST Sunday, Jan 15! (12am EST Monday, Jan 16) The article with the... MORE »
Best Pranks to Play On Your Roommates If You Get to School Before Them (USC)
This article is part of our “Let’s Keep This Website Awesome Over Winter Break” Tournament series. Check out the opposing article here and be sure to ‘like’ your favorite! To: USC University Park Community From: Department of Public Safety Re: Incident Resolution Notice In an effort to better communicate with the campus community about public... MORE »
Bottom 5 Worst Places To Vacation (USC)
This article is part of our “Let’s Keep This Website Awesome Over Winter Break” Tournament series. Check out the opposing article here and be sure to ‘like’ your favorite! When we found out we had to write about bad vacations, we were like… yeah! We’ve been on so many! Like we’re definitely the opposite of film... MORE »
Happy Belated Birthday to USC Campus Basement!
You know you’re getting old when you forget your own first birthday. Fortunately, one of our mottos (and we have a lot of them) around the writers’ room is “Who really needs pants anyway?” Another motto of ours is “it’s never too late to celebrate!” With that in mind, we’d like to tell the story... MORE »
Our New Year’s Resolutions 2012 (USC)
This article is part of our “Let’s Keep This Website Awesome Over Winter Break” Tournament series. Check out the opposing article here and be sure to ‘like’ your favorite! It’s the end of the year, y’all. We’d like to share all the helpful hints we were given in 2011 about how we should change, and... MORE »
What I’d Want for Christmas if I Were 4 (USC)
This article is part of our “Let’s Keep This Website Awesome Over Winter Break” Tournament series. Check out the opposing article here and be sure to ‘like’ your favorite! It’s hard to remember Christmas at age four. To our adult minds, those days are like the North Pole one foggy Christmas Eve: the Santas of... MORE »
Weekly Sex with the CB Staff: Cheating?
Once a week has never been so satisfying. Weekly Sex ““ My girlfriend wants to “take a break” over winter break. I know this is to have some… freedom at home, which I’m actually excited to take advantage of myself, but the thought of my girlfriend with anyone else kills me. I know that’s a... MORE »
Weekly Sex with the CB Staff: Virginity
Dear Weekly Sex, With all the different kinds of sex out there, I was wondering what you all think it means to lose your virginity, or be a virgin? – No Reason Just Wondering, sophomore Dear Mr./Ms. Wondering, Whoa. Are you telling me that other stuff counts towards your non-virgin status? Why have I never... MORE »
Weekly Sex with the CB Staff: Spooning
Once A Week Has Never Been So Satisfying Weekly Sex – Me and my girlfriend have been together for a couple months and like each other a ton, but something really stupid has been bothering me. I like spooning as much as the next guy, but I’m ALWAYS big spoon. I think I’d like being... MORE »
Weekly Sex with the CB Staff: Directions
Once a week has never been so satisfying. Dear Weekly Sex – I’ve never been a super demanding person, so I have a really hard time telling my boyfriend what I… you know… Need him to do. In bed. It’s not that it’s not a good time (it is!!), I just have a... MORE »
Bowling for Turkeys: Thanks from the USC Basement
Dear Readers, We here at Campus Basement are very grateful for quite a lot this Thanksgiving: friends, family, devoted readers, pets, good food, Facebook likes for our articles, etc. Well, wait a minute… using that et cetera’s not quite right, is it? It’s a rare person these days who goes deeply into everything he or... MORE »
Weekly Sex with the CB Staff: Numbers and Waits
Once A Week Never Sounded So Satisfying Weekly Sex, I found out this girl I’m sort of seeing has slept with, like, a huge number of people. Like now-technically-measured-by-dozens huge. I feel really prudish by comparison. Can I ask if there’s a “normal” number for college guys/girls to have? Not Like None But... MORE »
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