Sometimes, the glory of one person’s feat is exceeded only
by their enthusiasm to talk about it; often, the amount some guy drank one
night is one of those times.
“It was sick, bro,” grins Todd, a USC junior, of his alleged
success drinking “ten beers in less than three hours.” Talking almost
exclusively about the triumph since it occurred, his prowess has impressed
everyone from initial witnesses to marveling strangers.
A friend at the scene of the triumph reportedly responded by
saying “he almost threw up in my house! It was awesome.”
As Todd expected, the buzz around the event has led to more
friends, women, and respect. Tammy, his current arm candy, was asked whether
his ability to drink ten beers in less than three hours affected their relationship.
“Oh, sure,” she replies. “Whether you can drink ten beers in less than three
hours is probably the number one thing I, and most women, consider when picking
lovers.”
While the three-hour time period and even the amount has
been disputed, Todd remains unabashed: “Mike was like no way, you didn’t, and I
was like yeah huh! I haven’t even washed off the tally marks.” He reveals a
wrist with, indeed, ten tally marks. “How’d those get there, if I didn’t?”
And sexy Tammy isn’t the only one who’s heard the word ““
rumors are, Natty Light and other premium brews are scouting Todd for possible
future sponsorship. “I don’t want to give anything away, but”¦ Ten beers? Ten
beers in less than three hours?” A Natty representative beams. “Can’t say that
enough, Todd.”
But who knows how long the King’ll ride that ten-beer glory
wave? Murmurings in his buddy Mike’s circles say Mike will spend less than
three hours next weekend drinking eleven.
Whoever comes out on top in the coming days, there’s no
doubt they are both a true champion and entitled to yell about their success
until their drunken lungs give out.
