“Are they TRYING to make us upset??” one sophomore begged,
her voice cracking. She was one of hundreds of students the past couple days
who poured out onto the streets and sidewalks around campus, uprooted
physically and mentally from their normal routines as a result of the new
Facebook layout changes. “My newsfeed is different and it hurts me,” she says,
a single tear rolling slowly down her cheek.


Vocal Facebook-conservatives seem united in the view that the
site’s layout was perfect the way it was. “Change is confusing and disruptive,”
the proud creator of the fan page “NEW = BAD NO NO NO DOOON’T” asserts simply. “How
do you think society got to where it is today? By not messing with the status
quo. Ever.”


One alleged Facebook user, walking past the dazed crowd, sees
things a little differently. “Not to rock anyone’s boat, but”¦ This happens all
the time?”


The upset sophomore spins toward him from across the street. “WHAT
did you say?!”


He seemed unfazed. “People forget that the old version they’re
desperately clinging to was the new one they hated passionately not that long


I was unable to transcribe exactly what the sophomore said as
she bolted toward him, swiping madly, but it sounded like “AAAGHRGHRHRAHGHGHRAGHH.”


Unable to find any other non-detractors willing to express
their opinion out loud, I caught up with him getting some superficial wounds
treated in the Health Center. “Everyone’s underestimating their own ability to
adapt, and their history of having done so lots of times,” he explains.


After a moment, he adds “also, I suspect they really do just
enjoy bitching about it.”

“Mark Zuckerberg must hate us,” one protest fan page proclaims. “And it’s enthusiastically mutual now.”