-
Campus Basement Newsletter!
-
It's #Follow THURSDAY
Follow @campusbasement -
Partners
-
A Simple JIRA Mobile App that kicks ass! - 21 alcohol basketball beer boeheim campus christmas classes college Cornell dorms dps drinking drunk facebook featured finals food fraternities frats freshmen funny girls greek halloween holidays library love money movies music otto parties politics professors sex snow sororities sports students student sketches washu weather winter women
Elephant feels “giant and awkward” this close to campus and doesn’t know how to bring it up
Picture by
Lia Woodward
April 20, 2011 at 5:37 am
This big fella found himself alarmingly close to USC campus, just across the street in fact. Based on the reactions of ogling passerby (myself included), it was pretty clear that he didn't exactly fit in. Even the shetland ponies felt a little weird having him there. While people weren't exactly saying it, we all know they were thinking it.
The Single Life (for once, this is not about relationships!)
(Probably) like you, I was one of those normal American kids* who grew up with her own room. I moved several times, but throughout I had my own space – good desks, comfortable beds, the option to sneeze as loudly as I wanted without someone across the room being all judgy about it. Air conditioning.... MORE »
28th and Hoov
Deep in the middle of the sweltering concrete jungle of South Central Los Angeles lies a place of pleasure, and intrigue. It’s a place where underpaid, average looking, and piddling college students work hard and play harder, the kind of place where desperate people have a lot of sex with each other. This IS 28th... MORE »
Lena Dunham to release spoken word poetry album
Fueled by Ramen, the record label behind the soundtrack GIRLS Volume 1: Music from the Original HBO Series, announced today that they will be releasing an album of original spoken word poetry written and performed by none other than Lena Dunham herself. It comes as no surprise after Dunham signed a $3.7 million book deal for... MORE »
All Girls in Sorority House Hate Drama, Charlotte
As last nights chapter dinner, many more individual conversations, endless hours of research, and a recent press release from the sorority have revealed, All the girls in the Theta Delta Chi house have proclaimed that they, “Hate Drama.” Drama has been cast off by this group as, “Shitty,” and, “Annoying,” in the past. The... MORE »
[Insert Title of Your Own Creation Here!]
It’s been a while, Campus Basement. I’ve been, you know, living my life and stuff (#yolo, but I don’t think that’s a thing still #outdated? #sorry #ugh). Doing work. Sleeping. Going to Trader Joe’s. Watching Portlandia. Grumbling as I try to find a radio station that isn’t playing that stupid Bruno Mars song. Harboring a... MORE »
Music Festival Lineups Announced, Everyone Turns into Douchebags
“Dude, did you see the Bonnaroo lineup?” asked a tall, skinny white kid to his equally skinny white friend at the Campus Center this past Tuesday. “Dude. Dude!” We started to notice similar instances happening all around campus. One girl near our table in particular frantically proceeded to share jpegs of the Coachella lineup on each of... MORE »
Fighting On Elsewhere: A Daytrip to San Luis Obispo
Though the USC area certainly has its redeeming qualities (Spudnuts, USC, the UV movie theatre, the raccoon I once saw outside of my apartment building), the inhabitants of Figueroa etc. do occasionally long for time away from DPS reports, bike thieves, poor late night diet decisions, and the occasional vaguely rabid squirrel. That is where... MORE »
Student Asks Question To Prove He Doesn’t Need To Do So
As the second week of the semester closes, the material being covered in classes is finally starting to touch outside the realm of common sense. As we roll into week three the girl getting over some weight issues who just got her fake ID will once again be easier than your classes, and all will... MORE »
USC to Add More GE Classes because They Think Students Actually Like Them
“Who doesn’t love the General Education classes?” is the question with which USC President C.L. Max Nikias started off his public statement yesterday. And while somebody should have said, “NOBODY,” nobody did and he went on thinking that everyone does. In front of a small group of advisors and higher-ups here at the university, President... MORE »
“Trojan Family Room” renamed for napping purposes
Since its grand opening in 2010, the Ronald Tutor Campus Center has been quite the useful addition for all Trojans, from the outdoor International Plaza to the upstairs offices and Traditions in the basement. But the most useful of all, however, has been the grand entrance of Sample Hall, more commonly known as the “Trojan... MORE »
Research finds “Commencement” is no longer a terminal illness
The class of 2012 and all its friends can breath a collective sigh of relief about at least one thing as May 11th approaches, thanks to some timely research conducted by the University of Southern California. According to chief researchers, 98% of the student body was under the impression that Commencement, or “graduation” in dirty... MORE »
Week in Review: You say goodbye, and I say NEWS
Your second-best source for this week’s Daily Trojan headlines. Students can donate excess dining dollars to LA homeless The only catch is that you have to figure out how to actually hold a dining dollar in your hand and describe what it looks like to the human eye. Betty White discusses new book at... MORE »
“Eh, Coachella was just okay…” says student, whose last name is “Nobody”
Coachella Weekend 2 is upon us, which means at least a few thousand college students will not be reading this until Monday afternoon. Jim Nobody, a USC junior, attended his first Coachella during Weekend 1, and experienced it in full. Earlier today he was able to share that experience with us. “I think my favorite... MORE »
USC announces new major in Paper Writing
“It’s been a long journey, but we’ve reached the dream,” says Professor Peter Bender. “Now I can die knowing I did something important.” For the past 20 years, Professor Bender has been tirelessly pushing to build an academic program in which students can earn a degree in writing papers. “Sure, virtually every area of study... MORE »
USC fills “big envelopes” with rejection letters for April Fools; no one laughs
“In retrospect, it really wasn’t the best judgment on our part,” explained the Dean of Admissions. “We thought everyone would agree it was all in good fun, but…well, they didn’t.” Over the weekend, USC Admissions sent out large-size envelopes, also known as “big envelopes” which are typically understood to be acceptance letters, however this particular... MORE »
Non-drinkers can finally meet everyone’s ‘judgmental’ expectations by adapting statements from typical college party-goers
After several years’ worth of attending college parties as a non-drinker, I am noticing a concerning trend: we alcohol-free anomalies just are not meeting everyone’s expectations. When we show up to parties, ready to enjoy ourselves without bothering anyone or making a scene, we are a disappointment. Why? Because we are not judging people enough.... MORE »
Week in Review: Maybe she’s born with it, maybe it’s News
Your second best source for this week’s Daily Trojan headlines. New president aims to strengthen community By community, she meant the tv show. Pew study found 36 % of young adults heard about Kony 2012 through the internet The remaining 64% only saw about it through the internet. Suspect entered classroom while class was in... MORE »
Club withdraws Invisible Children support after IC reportedly types LOL without meaning it
“We would prefer to remain anonymous,” says Jane Summer*, president of the We’dRatherNotSay Club at USC. “To be honest, we just don’t want anyone to know that we ever pledged support in the first place.” The We’dRatherNotSay Club is only one of many on campus that have chosen to withdraw their excitement and support from... MORE »
USC scientists find causality between Impact font and laughter
Science finally got to the bottom of the text-superimposed-over-image meme appeal, and it could not have happened sooner. To everyone’s surprise and delight, the humor in a meme has nothing to do with the content and everything to do with the font. “Believe it or not, the human brain actually functions in fonts. For example,... MORE »
Week in Review: To be or not to be? That is the News
Your second-best source for this week’s Daily Trojan headlines. USC ranks 6th in bar preparation Bar as in “places that serve alcohol,” and frankly guys, ya blew it. USC has a 25% admittance rate for transfer students In a totally unrelated study, about 25% of USC transfer applicants are really good looking. I don’t know why... MORE »
Study shows majority of political debates result in one side changing its mind; “We told you so.”
Whether they have been the passionate instigator or the reluctant opposition, many a college student has found themselves deeply entrenched in a political debate at best, or a screaming contest at worst. This past weekend, a USC research team decided to investigate into whether or not political arguments have any point. Their results concluded that... MORE »
Freshman guy seeks serious relationship; Community shocked and confused
The very foundation of college life was rocked today when Dave Dover, an attractive freshman male just like any other, calmly announced to his friends and colleagues over breakfast that all he really wants is a serious, long-term relationship with a classy girl and will settle for nothing less. “I’m a young guy that’s just... MORE »
Week in Review: The apple doesn’t fall far from the News!
Your second-best source for the past week’s Daily Trojan Headlines. Office of College Advising tells students to hold off on grad school In the same way that somewhere, a well-meaning high schooler is telling her ugly best friend to hold off on that love confession she’s been planning for a hot guy that has never... MORE »
Fresh & Easy & Me: A Love Story
The latest exciting chapter in Lia’s series of open letters to places, not people. Dear Fresh & Easy, For the last few months, the area beneath my apartment has undergone some serious construction to which I truthfully never paid any attention. The irony in my indifference, even annoyance, toward your building process can only be... MORE »
Words with Friends with Benefits: An exciting new pastime
Even with Valentine’s Day freshly behind us, sexy sentiments continue to linger in the air thanks to a fun new pastime that recently came to my attention. Until now, Words with Friends was a game strictly reserved for people that had made a cellular commitment to allow only the one true iPhone they loved get... MORE »
Housing for “Fire Alarm-Pulling Enthusiasts” burns down in real fire
“It was only a matter of time,” muses Fire Chief Fred as he looks on at the ashen remnants of what was once a tall proud building. About four years ago, USC pooled funds to build a revolutionary special interest housing: an entire building specifically for people that enjoy pulling fire alarms. “When I first... MORE »
SAG invites Religious Zealots to receive Acting Lifetime Achievement Award
On Sunday January 29th 2012, right across the street from USC, the 18th annual Screen Actors Guild Awards took place on schedule at the Shrine Auditorium. This year’s ceremony was particularly special on account of a few familiar, giant-hateful-poster-wielding guests of honor. Many a student knows it’s difficult to attend a large event or even... MORE »
Week in Review: You can run, but you can’t News!
Your second-best source for this week’s Daily Trojan headlines. Latino Empowerment Speakers Series brings a dozen high-ranking politicians and city officials to campus for fireside chats with students. If things get awkward, that’s what the rotation is for, but ideally it will be very romantic. Café 84 to be replaced by “healthier dining hall” this... MORE »
New college restaurant opens, “Ramen & Pepperoni Sandwich” gets rave reviews
Campus was all atwitter in reaction to the opening of the latest, hottest restaurant in town: LiSa’s College Restaurant. Note the prominent S that definitely makes the name LISA and not LIA. I most certainly am not responsible for starting this restaurant, probably. Moving on, last week LiSa’s College Restaurant opened its repainted door (that... MORE »
Wisdom teeth removal becomes latest winter fashion trend; Spike in dumb decisions “unrelated”
This past winter break, students embraced the season’s latest fashion must-haves, including but not limited to scarves, pea coats, sweatpants and wisdom-toothless mouths. No one is quite sure who started it, but within days of beginning winter vacation, students were clamoring for the nearest oral surgeon to work his/her magic. After giving itself a high... MORE »