Before coming to college, every future student loads up on
movies about college life. Right now, as more and more 12th graders
are getting their early decision college acceptance letters, they are stocking
up on movies about becoming the king on campus in their freshman year. Well,
they’re all going to get a huge wake up call come next September. Here are a
couple of movies that attempt to accurately portray the transition from high
school to college”¦

Toy Story 3: This movie should be the first stop on the
movie-viewing marathon. This bitch symbolizes the ending of childhood and
innocence. It broke millions of hearts across the country by taking back its
original statement of “you’ve got a friend in me” and replacing it with “Fuck
Buzz and Woody, I’m not gonna get any ass if I have action figures lying
around.” Even though you won’t be able to stop crying for a week after watching
this, it’s a necessary story to see.

Accepted: Justin Long plays a kid named Bartleby who
successfully creates his own college. Wow, what a realistic view into what
really happens to people who don’t get into any other college. At least you
know you have some options.

Harry Potter Series: Hogwarts is basically college for
witches and wizards. These movies show that Hermione is the brightest witch of
her age because she works a shit ton. Even though Neville was a loser at first,
he ended up being the best herbology student and he killed a snake. His
evolution into being awesome took time, about 7 books to be exact. And then
there is Harry Potter. He literally didn’t do any work for the entire series.
The only way this could ever be okay is if you are the Chosen One. Once you’ve
defeated the Dark Lord, then you can tell your professors to fuck off.

Animal House: Yeah, because a frat that’s on probation can
totally wreak on their university’s administration. John Belushi did accurately
portray a zit though.

There are a couple of other movies that attempt to show
college as a fun, easy-going, laid back place. Maybe check out Sydney White,
Legally Blonde, and Good Will Hunting. Because of them, I thought I’d already
be the president of Harvard University who sees math problems on white boards
in MIT and solves them.