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tagged freshman »
Sources: Freshman engineering major is gonna get some this weekend
According to multiple reports, freshman engineering major Bobby Stevens will spend a large portion of the upcoming weekend smashing poonani. Sources close to the freshman say that he fully expects his recent dry spell to come to a crashing halt as he gets laid “daily, nightly and ever so rightly.” Although it’s unknown at this... MORE »
Cornell Freshman Gives Bo Burnham a Run for His Money
We hear this cutie’s looking for groupies, so if you’re interested… 😉 MORE »
Newly-Single Freshman Loses Confidence in Record Thirty Seconds
Sam Harper is feeling good. He’s free. Two days ago, he announced to the press and the Facebook community that he had broken up with his high school girlfriend of two years, Kristen Shaw. Now Harper, sans-girlfriend, is “out on the prowl again,” as he characterizes it. “It just had to happen, man,” He tells... MORE »
Student Institutionalized After Being Called “Freshman”
It was 2:04 AM on Saturday, September 3, 2009. David Moore was walking home from a house party on Livingtson Avenue with his roommates. Suddenly, without warning, a 2005 Jeep rolled down Euclid. The Jeep slowed just as it reached Moore and his friends and from inside the vehicle came a single word: “FRESHMEN!”... MORE »
Silent Shower — Freshman Flashbacks
Silent Shower Sex is to college kids as milk is to cereal. College kids want sex, and some claim to need it to fuel their lives, and cereal doesn’t really get too far without milk. There’s no denying that college kids love their sex, and will go to great lengths to partake in its acts.... MORE »
What’s That Noise? — Freshman Flashbacks
What’s That Noise? Water fountains are one of God’s many great inventions. They are conveniently placed on walls to ensure no one walks into them, though I have fallen victim to many, and they dispense water””wonderful pure water””hopefully not from Onandaga Lake. One day, while resting and being studious in my dorm, my friend Sarah... MORE »
Freshman Flashback–What Goes On Here?!
There’s a lot more to Kimmel Hall than four floors complete with bathrooms, beds, and residents””there are also vending machines””but what is truly special about the building is what lies just beyond said machines, through the heavy grey door. Upon opening this door, one will find an exit door directly in front of her, and... MORE »
Freshman Flashbacks
So recently, we decided we’d start a new segment relating to all the best (awkward) stories from their freshman years. This is our first submission. Dear Cuse My Campus: Freshman year. Sadler hall. Late night. My girlfriend was visiting. The stage was set for disaster. Earlier that night, I had had WAY too much water... MORE »
Freshman Roommates Part 2
In Part 1 we went over some of the stereotypical roommates you may find/have found yourself living with during your freshman year here at SU. We’ll continue the discussion below. The Druggie Breakdown: We’re not talking about the occasional trip to the graveyard for a bowl-pack here. No, The Druggie is in a whole other... MORE »
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