tagged GPA »

Article by Jonfen
December 19, 2011

4.0 GPA Totally Compensates for Sex-less Semester, Rationalizes Freshman

Upon checking his course grades on student center, freshman Phineas Plottman expressed tempered joy and mild exuberance over the fact that his semester spent not fornicating with members of the opposite sex, culminated in a 4.0 GPA. “Oh my gosh, this feeling is so amazing,” said Plottman meekly, “definitely more satisfying than repeatedly thrusting my... MORE »

Article by Lia Woodward
October 9, 2011

USC Week in Review: News Happened!

The finest alternative source of this week’s DailyTrojan Headlines Noticeable lack of USC student participation in Occupy Wall Street Protest Looks like the Protest of the Occupy Wall Street Protest was a smashing success!!   Students struggle to maintain internships and GPA It’s time to make a decision: which one do we kill?   More... MORE »

Article by db
September 24, 2011

ILR Study: Campus Bar Will Raise GPA’s

Ah, yet another story about the positive effects of alcohol. With an on-campus bar set to open in the Ivy Room this spring, the Cornell Pub Committee wants to pick business hours that will be most beneficial to students.   A sample of undergraduate ILRies were tested to see if consuming alcohol before class provides... MORE »