Despite a relaxing day at Manhattan Beach and two trips to
Yogurtland, last weekend was tough for freshman Leslie Boudreaux. Between
slurps of her Ground Zero milkshake (Everything But the Girl Scout, a solid, if
not metaphorical choice), Leslie tells her story.

“I was behind Leavey, on my way back from the Lyon Center
when it happened”¦ I like working out at night, in the downstairs section, where
you know, there’s a stairmaster and hot guys? Well, I was just texting my
friend, and I looked up and”¦” Leslie closes her eyes to collect herself.

“There was this guy, right? He was like twenty or thirty and
maybe Latino or Mexican? Or maybe black? It was kind of dark out, he might have
been Asian. Anyway, I was like, just walking, and suddenly I see it out of the
corner of my eye ““ the guy was like readjusting himself. Like so obviously
pulling at his brotank! I freaked and tried to FaceTime my friend to tell her
this guy was violating me”¦”

Leslie pauses, grimacing at the memory, “He exposed his
nipple. Right next to me. Then he readjusted his brotank like it was nothing
and just walked off.” Naturally, Leslie notified DPS right away. She described
the suspect as, “Maybe Latino, with a white tank top and jeans.” Four days (and
no DPS Crime Alert e-mail) later, she feels victim to the system. “I was totally
violated and yet no Crime Alert? How am I supposed to feel safe here if there
are like people exposing their nipples and no one finding out about tit?”

Leslie is one voice in what has become an increasingly
ubiquitous campus concern: do we really
know about crime at USC? For every lunch
or SAG
Awards onlooker at full attention
, there must be a dozen “misplaced” books
from Doheny and a hundred Campus Center line cutters. What about crimes the Admission Center commits? Shouldn’t
DPS let students know every time a bike is stolen? Where are the Trojan Alerts
for when TroGro runs out of Red Bull?

Students around campus echo sentiments about the need for
expanding Crime Alerts to the generally irritating variety:

“One time at Seeds, I gave the cashier my ID and
she didn’t take tax off. It was ridiculous, she cost me a good fifty cents and
it was totally illegal.” ““ Dwayne, junior, standing in the line at Lemonade

“Last year, I was studying in the Leavey basement
and went to talk to my friend upstairs. My iPhone was stolen, it was the worst. It was gold-encrusted and
everything. I had to go without it for a whole eleven hours before picking it
up at the lost and found.” ““ Allie, sophomore, Annenberg lobby

“Yes, I do not like crime.” ““ Eugene, senior, Trousdale

As she takes a last sip of her milkshake, Leslie gives a
brave smile, “I ran out of Dining Dollars the other day ““ and no one warned me.
Between that and the nipple, I knew it was time to take action. I, like, really
want to have at least ten texts a day from Trojan Alerts, I want to know what’s
happening on campus, you know? And I know my friend does too.” She giggles,
“Plus ““ I love getting texts during class!”

Leslie will be leading the Students Express General Wariness
of Annoying Yucky Stuff (SEGWAYS) protest next Thursday in the middle of
McCarthy Quad. All interested students should send e-mail