First it was “Melo. Then Donte’ Greene, Jonny Flynn and Wes Johnson. Almost successive years of SU basketball stars pledging their allegiance to the SU basketball program each year, only to leave weeks after the article hits the stands.

In order to stay ahead of the annual basketball clusterfuck, all Syracuse publications have decided to write a template to stay ahead of the curve. The template’s purpose is to allow editors to insert the name of the each year’s SU basketball star into a generic article, without having to write a new annual article about how the star declares he’s “not leaving SU for the NBA.” Sources say that the publications will also devise a template for the article that would surely follow a few weeks later, indicating that the star has decided to declare for the NBA Draft.

“There’s absolutely no need to write a new article saying the same thing every year,” says Post-Standard Editor-in-Chief Bob Vasillas. “It’s the same thing each time. Star player comes in, gets SU to a sub-par NCAA performance, tells the press that he’s got more work to do at SU, and then tells the press that he changed his mind and is declaring for the draft. We’re just trying to make it easier on ourselves.”

Vasillas and his staff are also considering a new annual format, which would simply state the name of the SU star who will leave without bothering to write an article. This format originated in 2003 with the infamous article/title: “Dammit, “Melo”¦”