Juice Jam: Syracuse University’s fall concert, Juice Jam, packed in thousands of students into a South Campus field in an attempt to break the 1969 Woodstock record of doobie puffs per capita. The concert was well received, although many students were disappointed that the Super Mash Bros. weren’t a death metal band consisting of Luigi on bass guitar, Mario on axe/lead vocals and Jigglypuff on the skins.

 

You Call That a Knife: In other news, an allegedly intoxicated student pulled out a knife in the middle of an English class in Hall of Languages earlier this week. No pictures, names, or classroom numbers have been released. And the student apparently wasn’t even enrolled in the class. And no one was hurt. Orange Alert wasn’t even used because DPS took over so quickly…but it made the public safety email listserv and front page of the D.O., so we’re sure it was really scary.

 

There’s a Theater on Westcott?! Indie rock duo Matt and Kim performed to a heavy crowd at the Westcott theater Wednesday night. In the daylight, Matt doesn’t pick up his phone, so things got a little awkward when he stopped midway through the show to return all of his missed calls from earlier that day.

 

In case you don’t know, that’s a reference to “Daylight” which is the only Matt and Kim song I know but it’s pretty popular. And the video looks great!

 

Bangbros Van: DPS this week announced the acquisition SafeRide van to carry large groups of drunk sorority girls safely to their homes and dorms. This is expected to make SafeRide more economical and efficient. When asked why the van was spotted outside an elementary playground with ‘Free Candy’ spraypainted on the side, a DPS spokesman had no comment.

 

Last but not least”¦ For all you football fans out there, our sincerest condolences. The home opener is tomorrow against Maine. Remember, beer is not served after halftime, so for those of you who make it past the first 3 minutes without hurling on the girl in front of you, have a plan. Our suggestion: start drinking early. Like, 9 PM Friday early.

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