What’s That Noise?

Water fountains are one of God’s many great inventions. They are conveniently placed on walls to ensure no one walks into them, though I have fallen victim to many, and they dispense water””wonderful pure water””hopefully not from Onandaga Lake. One day, while resting and being studious in my dorm, my friend Sarah stormed in claiming she got a lot more than just water from her trip to the fountain. Sarah is one of those girls who just doesn’t give a shit about anything, unless it’s something worth sticking around for. She’s a small girl, but packs a hyperactivity that gives a Mexican jumping bean on Cinco De Mayo a run for its money. Despite her craziness, underneath all her constant movement, and spandex pants, she is always around to lend a hand””until her attention span gives out due to her raging Attention Deficit Disorder.

Being the nosy individual that I am, I dropped whatever I was doing, most likely playing Guitar Hero, and ran to the fountain, until Sarah yelled at me to not make so much noise, in which case I began to tip-toe to the fountain. When I arrived, some ten feet later, I stared at the fountain in amazement, as it was just that””a fountain. I was then interrupted by a vague shrieking sound coming from behind Michelle’s door, conveniently located right across from the water fountain. After I peeled the virgin skin away from my eardrums, it became apparent to me that Michelle was having sex in that very room, and was loud enough to give anyone taking a sip at the fountain a free show. What intrigued me was the fact that her room was also the first one on the floor, thus it was located directly by the main door, and her sound effects could be heard and enjoyed by many passersby’s on the way to their respective dorm rooms.

Aside from the ideal location of Michelle’s room and her sighs of joy, I still felt the need to make sure everyone knew what was going on””because, as I said, I too am a teenager posing as a freshman in college. So I ran directly to Kendra and Sasha’s room and burst through the door””not literally””but they always insist that I just let myself in, so I did without hesitation and immediately told them to take a walk to the water fountain. They did, and thoroughly enjoyed it. We all felt like such perverted human beings, but come on, Michelle was loud enough to be heard in Fayetteville and I’m surprised her bed is still intact with all the squeaking we had to bear.

We will be posting a new freshman flashback every day for this week! To find more click on freshman flashbacks below.