Daily Orange Stirs Up More Controversy Than “¦ Us

The Advertisement team at the DO must have eaten
their Weedies this week when they decided to publish two racy ads, including
one of a naked black woman and another that was clearly racist toward Indian
people. All that was missing was an ad featuring two SU football players going
at it”¦



Football Team Has A Bi-Week

Some of the team has been confused, and recently starting
dating one another. Marrone reminded them having a “Bye Week” it meant they
didn’t have to play this weekend, not that they should “experiment.”


Then again, they’re 3-1 so as far as we’re concerned, they
can pursue any sexual endeavors they goddamn please, as long as it doesn’t
involve a camel, a sitar and a bag of frozen peas. That maneuver can cause serious injury…



Hey Why Are You Robbing Me?

Probably the most ridiculous report of a robbery occurred
when a student woke up and asked a robber, “What are you doing in my
house?” The perpetrator was 5′ 5″, so he was, in all likelihood, an
oompa-loompa. We should add oompa-loompas to the list of things we don’t want
football players to pursue sexually”¦


Cold But Truthful

It finally happened. Syracuse, NY was named the worst winter-weather city in the country this week, based
on a number of factors including grayness of clouds, total snowfall amount, and
necessity for football players to cuddle with one another for warmth.


See how we tied everything together this week?!


Oh, and to the football team: we joke with love, even if you did
decide to have a successful season after
some of us graduated”¦ GO “CUSE!