Get ready to laugh, cry, and eat your heart out. It’s RECRUITMENT 2012!!! With over 360 PNMs (potential new members) all signed up to come back to WUSTL in early January for rushy rush rush, I thought I could offer up some helpful advice.

Listen up Ladies of 2015: DO’s and DON’Ts of RECRUTIMENT 2012
*Active: a woman in a sorority’


  • Do wax your back
  • Do add as much character and flair as possible. Think accents, hair styles, and body art
  • Do frequent “Orange Leaf” each night for insider information and to causally run into actives
  • Do be mature
  • Do wear a watch, but not a digital one (that’s embarrassing)
  • Do exclusively wear Betsey Johnson
  • Do get a perm
  • Do convert religions
  • Do wear fishnet stockings
  • Do bring gifts and offerings to actives (monetary/edible/sacrificial is best)
  • Do talk about how hot your boyfriend is
  • Do tell actives you are Greek (geographical origin)
  • Do watch every episode of ABC family’s show “Greek”
  • Do make your profile picture you naked in the snow
  • Do lie when necessary, which should be 97% of the time
  • Do bring walkie-talkies to communicate with your friends in other parties
  • Do talk about your beach house in the Hamptons (invite the active to use it with her friends during spring break)
  • Do shower


  • Don’t fart
  • Don’t try to talk to actives. Don’t acknowledge their existence.
  • Don’t wear whore makeup
  • Don’t get sick and dry heave on a girl named Tracy in AEPhi (occurred circa 2010)
  • Don’t casually boob graze actives
  • Don’t eat glue beforehand. Seriously.
  • Don’t be too mature
  • Don’t ask if the active has a water vapor cigarette on them
  • Don’t talk about boyz, booze, or diet coke. Or your menstrual flow
  • Don’t wear scrunchies
  • Don’t take Dayquil prior to parties
  • Don’t get into a car accident with an active
  • Don’t be supercilious (look it up)
  • Don’t eat meat
  • Don’t talk about communism or socialism
  • Don’t play Jewish geography (or do)
  • Don’t wear a surgical mask to parties (bottom line don’t tell actives you are sick even if you are deathly ill)
  • Don’t be yourself. Be the BETTER version of yourself. On acid.
SEE MORE » , , , ,