Like a Frat Kid Loves Cake: The IFC fraternity rush policy was changed to more closely mimic
sorority rush. Guides or “rho chis” will now be responsible for
escorting potential new members to every house on campus. Similarly, fraternities
are now expected to sing and cheer during recruitment, decorate the exteriors
of their houses with balloons, welcome posters, and streamers, and provide
trendy Bid Day 2010 t-shirts to all of their new pledge class members, or as
sorority girls call them, “babies.”


CuseMyCampus Soars! For a while”¦: Facebook crashed for 5 seconds. During those 5
seconds, students were forced to spend time at CuseMyCampus. Then Facebook came
back. And we were abandoned again”¦


Homeless Takeover:
The homeless took over the quad after Shack-A-Thon 2010 went horribly wrong
Thousands of homeless wandered into the quad and commandeered the shacks of
countless SU organizations, using superior weaponry that included cans full of
coins (that noise is SO annoying) and a stench that resembled a cross between a
raccoon who just ate a pound of shit and Axe body spray.


In need of some more athletic department funding, the football team added a wrinkle in Saturday’s game by having just about every aspect of it sponsored. The Colgate Toothpaste (C) Radiers came into the Carrier Heating and Air Conditioning (C) Dome to take on the Syra-Juice (C) Orange. “The Powder Puff Football (C) game was a success!” said Coach Doug Macaroni and Cheese Scooby Doo Shapes (C).


Football? No Joke?:
We won again, destroying Colgate 42-7 on Saturday. Maybe it’s time for us to
stop making jokes about the football team? Maybe people will start attending


No, neither of those things will be happening. Is it
basketball season yet?