Hofstra’s
not-so-New Academic building will give anyone an architectural boner. It’s sleek, sexy, and streamlined to
perfection. But don’t let its
clever name fool you, it has been confirmed that the building is actually a
fully functional spacecraft built by NASA. That’s right, NASA. Shit just got
serious.
The
New Academic building or, NAB, for short, was conceived by Hofstra engineering
students in 2000 as a way to survive prospective threats to the nation such as
alien invasions or another Bush presidency. When Hofstra finally gave the green light to build the project
they determined the best possible cover-up would be financing yet another
academic building. One student
commented saying, “Dude, have you ever seen that thing? It looks like Optimus
Prime and Kate Upton made a baby.”
If
you’ve ever been inside NAB, then you know it’s got an alien quality to
it. (Plus, a lot of the elderly
secretaries look like E.T.) Rumor
has it that the structure is prepared to launch in the event of a mandatory
evacuation of any kind, taking the student body into space if needed. The
office of the president said: “Hofstra’s administration is a lot like the
student body, in that, they like to spend a lot of money on things they do not
need.” They followed this up with:
“You’ll thank us when the aliens come.”
There you have it people, the next time you’re wondering where your
tuition is going just remember it’s funding an evacuation plan into outer space
in the event of an alien invasion. And you can quote me.
