In the criminal justice system, sexually based offenses are
considered especially heinous. The
men’s basketball team played a game this past Saturday against Northeastern
that was also especially heinous.
Here is every thought that crossed my mind throughout the game:
> How intensely do I have to cheer when we score? I guess
I’ll just follow everyone else’s lead””YEAHHHHH! HOFSTRA PRIDE BITCHES!
> Whoops. Wrong team, Nick. Wrong team.
> Are sleeveless jerseys necessary? T-shirts won’t get
the job done? Pff. I could totally have arms like that if I wanted to.
> I wonder when halftime starts.
> Cheerleaders are so talented.
> Maybe I should probably hit the gym more.
> I wonder if they’re as tired as I am of watching them.
> This arena smells like a sweaty fart.
> TECHNICAL FOUL:
THE FAT RED HEADED CHEERLEADER JUST WINKED AT ME.
> I should absolutely hit the gym more.
> Dude in front of me is the source of the “sweaty fart”
odor without question.
> It’s like “sweaty fart” meets “hot dog with mustard” in
here.
> Mhmm”¦I could go for a hot dog.
> Focus on the game Nick. Just try to focus.
> Fuck! It’s 2-28 and we’re losing. Oh, never mind I think that’s the time.
Yep, it’s 2:28pm false alarm.
> Starting to think basketball is like Whose Line is it Anyway since the points
don’t matter.
> OH MY GOD IS THAT DREW CAREY?
> False alarm number two. “Twas just a different unfunny
fat guy with glasses.
> Hot cheerleader is ignoring my advances as I wait for
her outside of the ladies room. Solution: Continue advances.
> How much leading
does it take to become a cheerleader?
These bitches couldn’t lead 2nd graders through a fire drill.
> If I hold the little kid next to me hostage I wonder if
I could bargain a free hot dog and some nachos. His mom looks like she could
kick my ass though.
> Where’s the basketball? Oh there it is””in the other
team’s hands.
> Game over. I guess we lost? Sadness ensues.
> BUT THE CHEERLEADERS ARE BACK NOW SO I’M INSTANTLY FULL
OF CHEER.
