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Creepy Craigslist Ad of the Week: Found a Dildo
What the hell does her working for Perkins have to do with anything?
Creepy Craigslist Ad of the Week
“dead cats” (Vegas bound&gaggd) Date: 2012-02-11, 12:46PM CST I have a box full of them Anybody know a good place to dispose em? Well, Craigslist has hit a new creepy low. Let’s analyze. 1. Headline; dead cats.- I don’t like where this is going. 2. Vegas bound and Gaggd- uh.. so apparently this guy has... MORE »
Mizzou to celebrate all present, future religions
In light of the current atmosphere of increased attention to other cultures, Mizzou officials look to cover all their bases this holiday season by providing décor and activities in celebration of not only all present holidays but also any future holidays celebrated by religions not yet practiced. “According to the 2008 American Religious Identification Survey,... MORE »
Five Things Old People Think Dubstep Is, When Hearing It From A Distance
5. Tornado Siren: They will cock their head, collect their valuables and move to the basement. 4. Someone Logging in to AOL: They patiently wait for “the AOL guy” to say you’ve got mail. When he doesn’t, they will say, “Someones probably using the phone, that’s why it’s taking so long.” 3. The TV: “Honey! The sound... MORE »
Donald Trump demands to see Jeremy Lin’s birth certificate
New York Knicks standout Jeremy Lin has taken the National Basketball Association by storm, with the Knicks winning 7 of the 8 games the young point guard has started in. Lin has created a buzz worldwide, as people continue to praise the Harvard graduate. Sources suggest that an Asian American hasn’t made this much noise... MORE »
Videos to watch after climbing trees outside all day!
Winnie the Pooh couldn’t have said it any better, it sure is blustery outside. But soon, little cherubs, anthropomorphic stuffed animals and trees alike will have the joy of a spring day. But outside is only interesting for so long, children! What to do after a long day of dragon chasing and tree climbing in... MORE »
Cosmopolitan and Esquire Purchase MOVE Magazine
In a surprising move that also shocked no one, The Hearst Corporation, owner of both Cosmopolitan and Esquire, has acquired The Maneater’s very own MOVE Magazine. “I frequently write about when and how I’m getting laid and when I’m not, both in vast detail,” MOVE writer Samantha Jensen said. “Then I was offered a job... MORE »
Student section to be switched with visiting section at Faurot Field in 2012
On Monday, Athletic Director Mike Alden announced that, due to MU’s move to the Southeastern Conference, some things had to change at Faurot Field. These changing included moving Marching Mizzou and changing the text in the end zones from “Missouri” to “Mizzou”. While most changes were relatively benign, one change carried a much bigger weight:... MORE »
Alpha Sigma Sigma Builds Coat Room, Becomes Top Frat on Campus
In a recent poll conducted by the MU Greek System, Alpha Sigma Sigma, Mizzou’s formerly lowest-ranked fraternity by female students, has recently been rated “Top House on Campus.” Though experts are citing a number of reasons for the rankings upset, female students asked about their sudden change in heart towards the fraternity, nearly all mentioned... MORE »
The Biggest Bullshitter: The Abominable Snowman
Who’s that “Biggest Bullshitter”? It’s Abominable Snowman! (Koffing!) Abominable Snowman is a Fiscally Conservative but Socially Liberal type Pokemon. Abominable Snowman are birds in the family Laridae. They are the largest and also the most tall of all Pokemon, or more accurately: they are not, being of average relative height and weight.... MORE »
Creepy Craigslist Ad of the Week: Cialis!
THIS IS SO TRUE. MORE »
The Biggest Bullshitter Tournament
It’s getting toward the end of the year, and my writers are getting bored as shit. So, this is what I’ve come up with to occupy their time. It’s a little contest I like to call, “The Biggest Bullshiter.” And yes, I’m aware that’s not grammatically correct. I’ve given each writer a mythical creature to... MORE »
Hell Yeah Quidditch Team, Hell yeah!
Only took a deal with the mafia, 2 broken fingers and half a year to find these guys. But here it is, Mizzou’s quidditch team. And yes, the girl in the picture is trying to jump, “I want it to look like i’m flying!” MORE »
Rejected Headlines of the Week
DA SHIT. MORE »
Creepy Craigslist Ad of the Week: Sperm Guy
PAHAHAHAHAHA, this was really awkward to find in the middle of class. MORE »
Maneater releases annual April Fools Edition called ‘The Carpeteater’
On April 1, 2012 the Maneater, Mizzou’s primary newspaper, published their annual April Fools Edition. This year’s title: the Carpeteater. After years of doing an April Fools edition, their reign has come to an end with their latest edition of the Carpeteater. Not only did they throw in slurs toward women but managed to insult... MORE »
Creepy Craigslist Ad of the Week
] Well, shit just got weird. Real weird. Even Creepier? Well, I live 5 minutes away from Grain Valley. MORE »
One Liners of the Week
So, each week we propose ideas, we sit in our tiny little meeting room and attempt to make you and the rest of the people surfing the web show some teeth. These are all of the dunce pitches, the one who no one actually wants to write a story about but we feel as though... MORE »
Creepy Craigslist Ad of the Week: The Reason Rally
I don’t know what this “Reason Rally” is, but apparently it’s a big party for atheists who enjoy spreading their words of wisdom…and…well, eating babies. MORE »
Creepy Ad of the Week; Hookers in KC
Who knew hookers were prominent in KC? MORE »
One-Liners of the Week!
Cross country runner turns into pile of sticks Tiny dancer actually kind of fat Flat branch restaurant not actually frat branch, disappointed squirrel discovers Spanish turns out to be kind of a dick, no longer a romance language Local Satirist Runs Out of Ideas Smug Pile of Rags Mistaken For Journalism Student Mac pulls partnership... MORE »
Creepy Craigslist Ad of the Week; Darrel, YUM
Break me off a piece of this. MORE »
Santorum Deems College Unnecessary; Students Rebel
In a recent interview presidential candidate Rick Santorum said, “The indoctrination that is going on at the university level is a harm to our country.” After hearing these wise words thousands of students around the world rebelled against their institutions all with the campaign, “Puppets no more!” Santorum is widely known to have a concrete... MORE »
Creepy Craigslist Ad of the Week
“dead cats” (Vegas bound&gaggd) Date: 2012-02-11, 12:46PM CST I have a box full of them Anybody know a good place to dispose em? Well, Craigslist has hit a new creepy low. Let’s analyze. 1. Headline; dead cats.- I don’t like where this is going. 2. Vegas bound and Gaggd- uh.. so apparently this guy has... MORE »
Mizzou Memes
Since the dawn of unathleticism and staggering bitterness, web cretins have used memes (pictures of people/animals, each with a distinct and odd personality), to convey their wittiness to the great wasteland that is the Internet. For instance, the Insanity Wolf meme: a picture of a crazed wolf’s head embossed on a black-and-white background. Insanity Wolf’s... MORE »
Mizzou Also Gets 387th Pick; He deserves recognition too!
Dorial Greene-Beckham, Mizzou’s new football pride and joy, may have gotten most of the recognition, but he wasn’t the only one recently picked up by Mizzou. Mizzou also received the ESPNU’s 387th ranked player, Gene Troust, and he claims he deserves recognition as well. “I have worked so hard to play football in college, and... MORE »
My Gay Rights Rant: Reppin’ Blue Springs, MO
We all have our pet peeves. For some, it’s mayonnaise. For some, it’s the morning after a rough night when all you want is a water bottle. And for others, it’s the mirror pictures that 11-year-olds post to show their mosquito bites. For me, it’s when the gay community is disrespected. In my hometown of... MORE »
Quiz: What TV Stations Do the Commercials Go With?
Alright guys, lets play a game. Everyone knows that the advertising industry is generally pretty slanted, they have to be. Heck, they won’t ever sell anything if they aren’t (I mean really, who gives a shit about the Forever Lazy and it’s ass flap?). The advertisers play directly to what the public is watching. A... MORE »