MU student Sarah Stark was found on the back deck of AΣΣ’s house last Thursday, bawling her eyes out for no apparent reason. “One second I see her up on the table dancing with a guy I’m almost certain she’s never met, and the next second she’s falling all over me sobbing, ‘I wanna go... MORE »
In a recent poll conducted by the MU Greek System, Alpha Sigma Sigma, Mizzou’s formerly lowest-ranked fraternity by female students, has recently been rated “Top House on Campus.” Though experts are citing a number of reasons for the rankings upset, female students asked about their sudden change in heart towards the fraternity, nearly all mentioned... MORE »
Today, during a press conference that nobody asked for, several doctoral candidates of Sociology and Political Science at the University of Missouri cited the Social Justice Freshmen Interest Group program, or FIG for short, as an inspiration for their further pursuits. The FIG meets once every week for an hour to discuss issues that mostly... MORE »
1. Kim Kardashian gives birth on live television, baby Kimye eats its way out of Kim’s uterus Twilight-style. Kris Jenner promptly sells the newborn’s life rights to E!. 2. Anne Hathaway punches Best Actress winner Jessica Chastain at the Oscars: “I SHAVED MY HEAD FOR THIS.” 3. Leonardo DiCaprio decides to move to daytime television... MORE »
Mizzou’s best-kept secret, its Twerk Team, has gained a substantial amount of notoriety this week after a record seventh place finish at the Middle America Collegiate Twerking Classic. Competing against fourteen teams from neighboring states, the Tiger twerkers proved not just to Missouri, but Illinois, Arkansas and other less relevant nearby states (Kansas) that there... MORE »
Notre Dame linebacker Manti Te’o has recently come under fire since it was discovered that his late girlfriend, Lennay Kekua, never actually existed. In spite of the allegations and subsequent media frenzy, one group has surprisingly and publicly come out in support of Te’o: the gay community. “So what, he made up his girlfriend? That... MORE »
Last Thursday night Freshman Doyle Matheson admitted in conversation with a member of the opposite sex that he was “really into sports.” “Ladies love guys that are really into sports,” said Matheson, “which explains why I get it in on the regs.” As evidence of his love of sports, Matheson receives ESPN updates to his... MORE »
Syllabus Week, known as the “Festival of Natty Lights” to many, will soon be upon us once more. Though widely celebrate by most college students, there are many who have forgotten the true meaning of the weeklong celebration. To remind us why we celebrate Syllabus Week, we have decided to retell the story of how... MORE »
The popular University of Missouri dining hall Plaza 900 will turn its Grille station into a legitimate slaughterhouse. Mizzou Dining Hall Director Jared Harris said that the new slaughterhouse came as inspiration from his experience from eating and working at the Plaza 900 Grille. “I’ve been working at Plaza for quite some time, and the... MORE »
Below the Hatch and Schurz residence rests a beautiful gem, an in-and-out restaurant named Baja. Virtually hidden from plain sight on the very edge of campus, it would appear Baja would have to do some serious advertising to get any business at all. Simply by word of mouth, Baja has flourished into a remarkably convenient... MORE »
THIS IS SO TRUE. MORE »
It’s getting toward the end of the year, and my writers are getting bored as shit. So, this is what I’ve come up with to occupy their time. It’s a little contest I like to call, “The Biggest Bullshiter.” And yes, I’m aware that’s not grammatically correct. I’ve given each writer a mythical creature to... MORE »
Only took a deal with the mafia, 2 broken fingers and half a year to find these guys. But here it is, Mizzou’s quidditch team. And yes, the girl in the picture is trying to jump, “I want it to look like i’m flying!” MORE »
DA SHIT. MORE »
PAHAHAHAHAHA, this was really awkward to find in the middle of class. MORE »
On April 1, 2012 the Maneater, Mizzou’s primary newspaper, published their annual April Fools Edition. This year’s title: the Carpeteater. After years of doing an April Fools edition, their reign has come to an end with their latest edition of the Carpeteater. Not only did they throw in slurs toward women but managed to insult... MORE »
] Well, shit just got weird. Real weird. Even Creepier? Well, I live 5 minutes away from Grain Valley. MORE »
So, each week we propose ideas, we sit in our tiny little meeting room and attempt to make you and the rest of the people surfing the web show some teeth. These are all of the dunce pitches, the one who no one actually wants to write a story about but we feel as though... MORE »
I don’t know what this “Reason Rally” is, but apparently it’s a big party for atheists who enjoy spreading their words of wisdom…and…well, eating babies. MORE »
Who knew hookers were prominent in KC? MORE »
Break me off a piece of this. MORE »
In a recent interview presidential candidate Rick Santorum said, “The indoctrination that is going on at the university level is a harm to our country.” After hearing these wise words thousands of students around the world rebelled against their institutions all with the campaign, “Puppets no more!” Santorum is widely known to have a concrete... MORE »
What the hell does her working for Perkins have to do with anything? MORE »
“dead cats” (Vegas bound&gaggd) Date: 2012-02-11, 12:46PM CST I have a box full of them Anybody know a good place to dispose em? Well, Craigslist has hit a new creepy low. Let’s analyze. 1. Headline; dead cats.- I don’t like where this is going. 2. Vegas bound and Gaggd- uh.. so apparently this guy has... MORE »
Since the dawn of unathleticism and staggering bitterness, web cretins have used memes (pictures of people/animals, each with a distinct and odd personality), to convey their wittiness to the great wasteland that is the Internet. For instance, the Insanity Wolf meme: a picture of a crazed wolf’s head embossed on a black-and-white background. Insanity Wolf’s... MORE »
Dorial Greene-Beckham, Mizzou’s new football pride and joy, may have gotten most of the recognition, but he wasn’t the only one recently picked up by Mizzou. Mizzou also received the ESPNU’s 387th ranked player, Gene Troust, and he claims he deserves recognition as well. “I have worked so hard to play football in college, and... MORE »
We all have our pet peeves. For some, it’s mayonnaise. For some, it’s the morning after a rough night when all you want is a water bottle. And for others, it’s the mirror pictures that 11-year-olds post to show their mosquito bites. For me, it’s when the gay community is disrespected. In my hometown of... MORE »
Alright guys, lets play a game. Everyone knows that the advertising industry is generally pretty slanted, they have to be. Heck, they won’t ever sell anything if they aren’t (I mean really, who gives a shit about the Forever Lazy and it’s ass flap?). The advertisers play directly to what the public is watching. A... MORE »
