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Staff Writers Hangin’ out
Picture by
Grill
November 10, 2011 at 2:24 pm
#tellmeyourekidding
Posting Your Article: The Emotional Turmoil of a Campus Basement Writer
Writers for Campus Basement are kind of similar to that Vietnamese prostitute I met while backpacking in Southeast Asia”¦we are constantly getting pissed on. “Are you honestly going to continue using my wall as advertising space?” asks my Grandma. “Yes Grammy, I am. And you know what else, I think your crocheting is overrated”¦yeah, I... MORE »
THE FACE: My attempt to shake up Wash U’s Social Life
Do you see something off about this photograph? Do you merely recognize some co-eds have a good time, enjoying a pregame before Linus, a large off-campus philanthropic party? Or do you spot something lurking in the back? A strange, slightly upsetting expression. A dark hole of rebellion. It’s THE FACE. Here is my brief,... MORE »
Five Successful Ways to Sit Alone
Sitting alone is an art attempted by many, mastered by few. The SSS (Solo Seat Selection) is a dilemma facing our generation of awkward texters everywhere! So how does one sit alone and not be eaten alive? How can you avoid the state of a lone, defenseless guppy in a sea filled with barracudas?! (Barracudas eat guppies, right?) Read... MORE »
How to Get By During Rush
With students returning to school frantic for a good time (we all know Christmas Vacation gets quite boring), the commencement of fraternity rush stomps all over the fun WashU students are supposed to be having at the beginning of a new semester. While the workload is still manageable enough for students to explore hedonistic exploits... MORE »
Confused Family of Four Found inside South Forty House: “We Thought It Was a Carnival Cruise!”
Tuesday: A family of four was found with an unusual amount of suitcases stealing from the salad bar at Paws-n-Go. “Don’t you just love an all-inclusive resort?!” Marilyn Jones shrieked as the B & D security guard reprimanded her. According to the security guards, Mrs. Jones and her family had actually been asked to leave... MORE »
In Defense of No Pants
Lately there has been a lot of negative sentiment revolving around MY clothing choices. Ok, so it’s not, like, just my clothing choices, but sometimes it feels that way. I see you smirking when I’m in line for my latte in Whispers. I see you pointing and whispering when I’m... MORE »
DO’s and DON’Ts of Sorority Recruitment 2012
Get ready to laugh, cry, and eat your heart out. It’s RECRUITMENT 2012!!! With over 360 PNMs (potential new members) all signed up to come back to WUSTL in early January for rushy rush rush, I thought I could offer up some helpful advice. Listen up Ladies of 2015: DO’s and DON’Ts of RECRUTIMENT 2012... MORE »
Funding Exposed: Tulip Mania is Our Fault.
Breaking news. After an upheaval from undergraduates regarding WashUâ??s superfluous spending, Chancellor Wrighton held a press conference to clarify where tuition money is going. Most of this chaos is surrounding the annual â??Tulip Maniaâ?. For all of the froshies that have yet to witness this phenomenon and think that gothic architecture and top tier education... MORE »
Spring Semester 2012: What Classes Should You Take?
Consider my Campus Basement writing cherry popped! With the semester coming to a close, I thought I’d steer clear of finals for my first article here. Finals are like my beloved Washington Redskins: they suck. So, I thought it best to avoid them and to focus on next semester. And, if you’re anything like me... MORE »
No Fun: Cops Break Up One Person Party
Wash U’s police force, WUPD, reached new levels of strictness on Saturday night, breaking up a one-man party. Fred Fredrickson, a transfer student, was uninformed of WashU’s newly instated “No Fun” policies. The current police state reigning over Wash U’s social circle left Fred alone, confused, but ready to party. “I just didn’t understand why absolutely... MORE »
Reasons I Love Living in Missouri….
Saw this license plate on the way to the airport. #prolifeswag! MORE »
Dear Girl Who Laughs Too Much in Class
Dear Girl who Laughs too much in class: I hate you. That’s really all there is to it. The professor is not that funny, and I’m sure he isn’t even flattered at this point. Your laugh is so loud, so obnoxious and nasally, it makes me sick to the stomach, an infectious cacophony of horridness. This isn’t... MORE »
HORSIES! ON CAMPUS! (hm.)
There was a horse-drawn carriage on campus today (it might still be roaming around if you wanna chase it). See the photo for confirmation. I can’t be the only person at WashU wondering what in the world that was doing here. These are my thoughts on what the administration must’ve been thinking when they approved... MORE »
Ode to the Evil Girl from down the Hall
Everyone’s got that girl…she lives in your building, on your floor, is in one of your classes. You see her everywhere and she refuses to acknowledge your existence. Here’s my ode to you. We’ve all got one, in spring through fall,The evil girl from down the hall.She may be short, or maybe tall,The evil girl... MORE »
Twelve Students Perish in Whispers due to Lack of Water Cups.
Apparently, water cups are the new gold. Only some have them, everybody wants them””although you don’t need gold to live”¦so I guess water cups are better. Twelve students were found unconscious this afternoon in Whispers and the Greater Olin Library area due to the new restrictive water-cup policy on campus. Their bodies were resuscitated with... MORE »
How to Get By During Rush
With students returning to school frantic for a good time (we all know Christmas Vacation gets quite boring), the commencement of fraternity rush stomps all over the fun WashU students are supposed to be having at the beginning of a new semester. While the workload is still manageable enough for students to explore hedonistic exploits... MORE »
U Mad?–Questions that Piss off Wash U Students
There are plenty of questions that bother Wash U students. We’re a sensitive group. Whether it be confusing Washington University with similarly named state schools, thinking that our athletics are division one or that our social life is hedonistic…it all pisses us off. Here are some of our (least) favorite questions presented to a typical,... MORE »
So, How Am I Doing This Semester: Professors’ Procrastination
In my limited experience, intellect has been accompanied by procrastination. Hard workers have wandering minds, a budding curiosity to explore the unknown. Often, hard workers need to take breaks from busting ass with stents of wasted time: hours spent on both obscure and mainstream websites, looking at photos of their friends (for the 100th time”¦),... MORE »
Apologia: Why I Drop Kicked You in the Face.
The seconds ticked rapidly towards midnight that evening. It was the eve of one of those devilish Wash U Monday’s when, for some reason, all professors decide to assign something major for the weekend. And there I was, alone, isolated in a top floor library cubicle, diving into analytical essays, while simultaneously reviewing statistical concepts... MORE »
THE FACE: My attempt to shake up Wash U’s Social Life
Do you see something off about this photograph? Do you merely recognize some co-eds have a good time, enjoying a pregame before Linus, a large off-campus philanthropic party? Or do you spot something lurking in the back? A strange, slightly upsetting expression. A dark hole of rebellion. It’s THE FACE. Here is my brief,... MORE »
Why the Midwest Frightens Me.
Saw this on my way to lunch. ‘Nuff said. MORE »