there has been a lot of negative sentiment revolving around MY clothing
choices. Ok, so it’s not, like, just my clothing choices, but sometimes it
feels that way. I see you smirking when I’m in line for my latte in Whispers. I
see you pointing and whispering when I’m trying to get out of Public Health.
Yeah, I’ve seen the website Wash U No Pants. I’m basically the cover girl for
that website. But let me make something clear, my Wash U peers. I am not sorry
for choosing not to wear pants most days, and I’m pretty sure the other women
who make the same clothing choices feel the same way.
not a slut (I swear!), but there are plenty of days when I don’t feel like
wearing pants””any sort of pants. They’re constricting. Sweatpants are all sorts
of fugly and make you look like a slob. Jeans are constricting and hard to zip
up, unless you want to be like Jenna from 30
Rock and write a song about your muffin top. I don’t always want to shimmy
into my skinnies, if you know what I mean. That’s why they invented
leggings””the perfectly polished and comfortable pant for the no-pants set. Ladies,
am I right?
I’ve heard all of your complaints about these no-pants. Are they sometimes
see-through, revealing scandalous underwear of a contrasting color? Yes. Are they so tight that you question whether
or not I have denim skin? (Shout out to my jeggings!) Yes. Do I sometimes wear
a shirt that’s too short so you end up seeing the outline of my crotch? Yes. Otherwise,
though, I look good in them–don’t deny it. They show off my hot bod, and I
didn’t even have to button anything. All I had to do was pull them up. Which means you can pull them down. Just
kidding! (Not that I’m a slut. No, but seriously, I’m not a slut! Pinky
promise.) I just like leggings!
I’m trying to say is, suck it Wash U No Pants. I’m going to keep wearing no-pants, and you’re going to keep liking it.