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Why the Midwest Frightens Me.
Picture by
Grill
November 4, 2011 at 2:50 pm
Saw this on my way to lunch. 'Nuff said.
Twelve Students Perish in Whispers due to Lack of Water Cups.
Apparently, water cups are the new gold. Only some have them, everybody wants them””although you don’t need gold to live”¦so I guess water cups are better. Twelve students were found unconscious this afternoon in Whispers and the Greater Olin Library area due to the new restrictive water-cup policy on campus. Their bodies were resuscitated with... MORE »
U Mad?–Questions that Piss off Wash U Students
There are plenty of questions that bother Wash U students. We’re a sensitive group. Whether it be confusing Washington University with similarly named state schools, thinking that our athletics are division one or that our social life is hedonistic…it all pisses us off. Here are some of our (least) favorite questions presented to a typical,... MORE »
Acronyms That Will Prevent Me From Graduating
Allow me to rephrase… Abbreviations that WashU uses to stop me from graduating. Specifically, abbreviations that make me fail… At the very least, evidence that suggests WashU truly wants me to break down into hysterics in the middle of Whispers. QA: Quantitatively Annoying. When I reached the ripe age of twelve years old, my mother gave me a pair... MORE »
Disappointed Jewish Boy Receives School Supplies for Hanukkah, Again
David Steinberg was eager to get home from college for winter break; he couldn’t wait to celebrate Hanukkah with his family. “I love all of the family traditions,” he was overheard saying to his campus Hillel representative, “we light the menorah, sing Hanukkah songs, and play dreidel, what could be better?” David’s explanation seemed a... MORE »
Things I’m Looking Forward to in Spring 2012
So, I might have Seasonal Affect Disorder, but despite that, there is something about spring semester that just feels lighter and happier than fall semester. I know no one is ever ready to go back to school in the 10-50 degree weather that could characterize January in St. Louis, but once the semester gets kicking,... MORE »
10 Minutes to Taco Salad
With a couple months of school under our belts, we should all be familiar with the lunchtime madness at the DUC. 15-minute salad lines? A sad reality. You want a taco salad? Get ready to stand around for a ten-minute panic attack about whether they are going to run out of guac before you get... MORE »
So, How Am I Doing This Semester: Professors’ Procrastination
In my limited experience, intellect has been accompanied by procrastination. Hard workers have wandering minds, a budding curiosity to explore the unknown. Often, hard workers need to take breaks from busting ass with stents of wasted time: hours spent on both obscure and mainstream websites, looking at photos of their friends (for the 100th time”¦),... MORE »
Have An Orangey Day at “Orange Leaf”
Next time you pull into Schnuck’s to reload your OJ, milk, and Cocoa Puffs, be sure to stop into the new club/café/hotspot “Orange Leaf: America’s Frozen Yogurt.” Entering the vicious frozen yogurt market, and competing against established names like “Fro Yo” and “Chill,” “Orange Leaf” has really sparked some interest in the Wash U community.... MORE »
No Fun: Cops Break Up One Person Party
Wash U’s police force, WUPD, reached new levels of strictness on Saturday night, breaking up a one-man party. Fred Fredrickson, a transfer student, was uninformed of WashU’s newly instated “No Fun” policies. The current police state reigning over Wash U’s social circle left Fred alone, confused, but ready to party. “I just didn’t understand why absolutely... MORE »
New Dieter vs. Salad Bar
Never too late to start a New Year’s resolution right? Either way, pounds need to be shed. It is time to go where no carb-addict has gone before- the Paws and Go salad bar. Gasps from an imaginary audience. Yes, I am on my way to becoming the next Victoria’s Secret angel, and marina sauce... MORE »
No Fun: Cops Break Up One Person Party
Wash U’s police force, WUPD, reached new levels of strictness on Saturday night, breaking up a one-man party. Fred Fredrickson, a transfer student, was uninformed of WashU’s newly instated “No Fun” policies. The current police state reigning over Wash U’s social circle left Fred alone, confused, but ready to party. “I just didn’t understand why absolutely... MORE »
Reasons I Love Living in Missouri….
Saw this license plate on the way to the airport. #prolifeswag! MORE »
Dear Girl Who Laughs Too Much in Class
Dear Girl who Laughs too much in class: I hate you. That’s really all there is to it. The professor is not that funny, and I’m sure he isn’t even flattered at this point. Your laugh is so loud, so obnoxious and nasally, it makes me sick to the stomach, an infectious cacophony of horridness. This isn’t... MORE »
HORSIES! ON CAMPUS! (hm.)
There was a horse-drawn carriage on campus today (it might still be roaming around if you wanna chase it). See the photo for confirmation. I can’t be the only person at WashU wondering what in the world that was doing here. These are my thoughts on what the administration must’ve been thinking when they approved... MORE »
Ode to the Evil Girl from down the Hall
Everyone’s got that girl…she lives in your building, on your floor, is in one of your classes. You see her everywhere and she refuses to acknowledge your existence. Here’s my ode to you. We’ve all got one, in spring through fall,The evil girl from down the hall.She may be short, or maybe tall,The evil girl... MORE »
Twelve Students Perish in Whispers due to Lack of Water Cups.
Apparently, water cups are the new gold. Only some have them, everybody wants them””although you don’t need gold to live”¦so I guess water cups are better. Twelve students were found unconscious this afternoon in Whispers and the Greater Olin Library area due to the new restrictive water-cup policy on campus. Their bodies were resuscitated with... MORE »
How to Get By During Rush
With students returning to school frantic for a good time (we all know Christmas Vacation gets quite boring), the commencement of fraternity rush stomps all over the fun WashU students are supposed to be having at the beginning of a new semester. While the workload is still manageable enough for students to explore hedonistic exploits... MORE »
U Mad?–Questions that Piss off Wash U Students
There are plenty of questions that bother Wash U students. We’re a sensitive group. Whether it be confusing Washington University with similarly named state schools, thinking that our athletics are division one or that our social life is hedonistic…it all pisses us off. Here are some of our (least) favorite questions presented to a typical,... MORE »
So, How Am I Doing This Semester: Professors’ Procrastination
In my limited experience, intellect has been accompanied by procrastination. Hard workers have wandering minds, a budding curiosity to explore the unknown. Often, hard workers need to take breaks from busting ass with stents of wasted time: hours spent on both obscure and mainstream websites, looking at photos of their friends (for the 100th time”¦),... MORE »
Apologia: Why I Drop Kicked You in the Face.
The seconds ticked rapidly towards midnight that evening. It was the eve of one of those devilish Wash U Monday’s when, for some reason, all professors decide to assign something major for the weekend. And there I was, alone, isolated in a top floor library cubicle, diving into analytical essays, while simultaneously reviewing statistical concepts... MORE »
Staff Writers Hangin’ out
#tellmeyourekidding MORE »
THE FACE: My attempt to shake up Wash U’s Social Life
Do you see something off about this photograph? Do you merely recognize some co-eds have a good time, enjoying a pregame before Linus, a large off-campus philanthropic party? Or do you spot something lurking in the back? A strange, slightly upsetting expression. A dark hole of rebellion. It’s THE FACE. Here is my brief,... MORE »