Just a little over a week ago, students that walk past the
Shrine to get home at night had a surprise in store: two renegade “outdoor” lovers took to publicly exchanging genetic material outside the shrine in what
can only be explained as their version of “getting a room.”

According to eyewitnesses, the couple put on quite a show,
complete with 80s electro pop music and a blanket featuring images of the solar
system. They also made a point of not including certain key items of clothing.

Perhaps the biggest surprise of all is how students embraced
the maverick couple, describing the scene with both enthusiasm and exclamation
points on Facebook and Twitter.

After several consecutive sexy stints outside the shrine, the
couple disappeared just as suddenly as they arrived, leaving many students to
speculate as to where the newly adopted “action” heroes have gone.

“I believe they’re still out there, somewhere”, states Kelly
Plume, senior and aspiring pedestrian. “They’re just waiting for when the time
is right to bring sexy back to the streets. Literally.”

Students have felt the void left by the outdoor lovers and
are beginning grassroots efforts to actively search for the mysterious pair.

Sandy Norwell, sophomore and resident at University Gateway,
was one of the first unsuspecting passerbys to catch them in the act, and now
feels personally responsible for spearheading the effort to bring them back.

“Honestly, who doesn’t have the urge to get it on in the
middle of the sidewalk when they have a solar system blanket at their
disposal?” asks Sandy. “They were just brave enough to get out there and do it.
For all of us.”