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The hardest rejection I’ve ever had to do.

Picture by Alfred

October 6, 2012 at 1:24 am

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Since everybody at Syracuse can do a backflip, this pick-up line's success rate has plummeted through the ground.

◄ MU Introduces Jersey Chasing as Newest Club Sport

Types of Students Going to the One World Concert ►

December 17, 2013

Syracuse students are HAPPY

This is Syracuse University’s edition of Pharrell’s “Happy”! The happiest students and staff took a break from the “Finals Week blues” and joined the Happy Team as we spread happiness all over campus. Thank you to each and every one of you who happily danced to lift our peers’ spirits. You are loved. MORE »

March 31, 2013

Syracuse student claims to be Hannah Montana

Sophomore PR major, Hannah Melton, claims to be the real Hannah Montana after getting her wisdom teeth removed. Has the real Hannah Montana been walking among us at Syracuse? MORE »

March 28, 2013

Throwback Thursdays

March 9, 2013

Boeheim Shits on Podium After Georgetown Loss

Syracuse head coach Jim Boeheim walked to the postgame press conference podium after his reeling team’s 61-39 embarrassment at No. 5 Georgetown Saturday, undid his pants, dropped a steaming, rancid turd just below the microphone, and walked out. “You want an opening statement?” An irate Boeheim asked as he undid his belt. “Here’s my... MORE »

February 13, 2013

Syracuse University Harlem Shake Video

February 11, 2013

Pope resigns, realizes there is no God after hearing Pauly D will be playing at Syracuse University

Catholics around the world were shocked to hear that Pope Benedict XVI had resigned from his position as “THE CLOSEST PERSON TO GOD ON EARTH.” He tells sources at Campus Basement that the departure comes from fatigue, old age, and University Union’s Winter Carnival line-up. “They were hyping the students up, saying, ‘oh get ready,... MORE »

January 31, 2013

30 Rock and other shows insult Syracuse, must be destroyed

Tina Fey’s long running show, 30 Rock, will be airing its hour-long series finale tonight at 8/7 central on NBC. Let it be known that this was not Fey’s decision to end the show- it was the higher power of Syracuse University. Fey’s character, Liz Lemon, is the head writer of a variety show starring... MORE »

January 24, 2013

Phone Screenshots Officially Confirm Syracuse is Coldest Place Ever

Syracuse University students posted hundreds of smart phone screenshots of the city’s weather to social media in the past three days, officially confirming the city is “literally, like, THE coldest place ever.” The sheer number of screenshots showing temperatures that ranged from -65 degrees Celsius to 10 degrees Fahrenheit alarmed scientists, who quickly confirmed the... MORE »

January 18, 2013

The Differences Between Fall and Spring Semester

Welcome back to Syracuse everybody! You may be wondering what’s so different about this semester than the last, so we here at Campus Basement are proud to present our comparative guide to help you transition into the new semester. MORE »

January 6, 2013

Hockey’s Back! …and there was much rejoicing

I woke up today thinking it would be any regular Sunday: completely naked, my head laying over the side of my bed, desperately trying to avoid the sunrise shining through the pathetic excuse for curtains and onto my face. But then I saw the news, that glorious and long-awaited news, that the NHL lockout has... MORE »

March 28, 2013

Throwback Thursdays

February 11, 2013

Pope resigns, realizes there is no God after hearing Pauly D will be playing at Syracuse University

January 18, 2013

The Differences Between Fall and Spring Semester

November 30, 2012

Things Syracuse Should Have But Don’t: Puppy Rooms

Finals week is coming up, and as we all know, it’s the most stressful time of the year. Syracuse University usually comes out with a handful of lame-ass events to help relieve stress. (Wow, breakfast at NIGHT TIME. You really out-did yourselves this time) Our neighbors across the North border at Dalhousie University’s got the... MORE »

November 1, 2012

Checking the Weather – What You See — What They See

October 26, 2012

Poorly Translated SAW shirt

Spotted in Ernie Davis Dining Hall. I knew Jigsaw was made in China. MORE »

October 13, 2012

Student Still Waiting For Nas

After the major disappointment by Nas’s no-show at the One World concert, most students left, cursing the Hip Hop legend from Queensbridge. Most. Meet Jeffrey Turs, a junior attending Syracuse University who claims to be Nas’s biggest fan and firmly believes that the rapper will appear at the Carrier Dome. “This isn’t the first time... MORE »

September 28, 2012

Bring Replacement Refs to the Carrier Dome

The Syracuse Orange football team currently have one win and three losses on their 2012-2013 season record. It seems no matter what we do, we can’t seem to win (except play shitty schools.) Our coaches don’t help, our players don’t help (please don’t beat me up), so we’ve gotta do what every frustrated sports fan... MORE »

September 20, 2012

Syracuse Police Department Ranked First in Nation for Party-Busting

The National Anti-Fun Association awarded the Syracuse Police as the most efficient party-patrollers in the United States. A glimpse at SPD’s crime stats shows they’ve shut down 7,342 parties in the last year along, 500 more parties than every other police force combined. This increase in heroic police work can be credited to the force’s... MORE »

April 20, 2012

Syracuse University schools Issue Letters to Class of 2016

As the Spring Welcome begins to wind down, the academic faculty here at Syracuse University sent letters to prospective Class of 2016 students. Here they are, for your viewing pleasures: MORE »

April 4, 2012

Advantages of Lawrinson’s Fire Alarms

Students unfortunate enough to dorm in Lawrinson this semester have much to complain about. Social life is dead, dining options suck, and room-mates are inconsiderate dicks who keep taking your shaving razor without telling you. Seriously Edgar, I know... MORE »

March 28, 2012

Dining Halls Missing Dishes – Blames Increasing Popularity of Ultimate Frisbee

If you’ve noticed the lack of plates in dining halls over the last week, you’re not alone. Before you jump to conclusions, don’t worry, the dining halls quality didn’t decreased. (Hard to do when you’ve hit rock bottom.) So who’s to blame for this dish deficiency? 80 degree weather and a 325% increase in Ultimate... MORE »

Pong Table I Made Sophomore Year

The History of the Christmas Sweater (Cuse)

Fab Melo vs. Car Melo

Week in Review

Snowboarding Down the Stairs to Flint and Day

Final Countdown

How To: Spend Every Last Nickle

Mayfest Poll Results

The hardest rejection I’ve ever had to do.

Throwback Thursdays

Pope resigns, realizes there is no God after hearing Pauly D will be playing at Syracuse University

The Differences Between Fall and Spring Semester

Things Syracuse Should Have But Don’t: Puppy Rooms

Checking the Weather – What You See — What They See

Poorly Translated SAW shirt

Student Still Waiting For Nas

Bring Replacement Refs to the Carrier Dome

Syracuse Police Department Ranked First in Nation for Party-Busting

Syracuse University schools Issue Letters to Class of 2016

Advantages of Lawrinson’s Fire Alarms

Dining Halls Missing Dishes – Blames Increasing Popularity of Ultimate Frisbee

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