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Call Ramapo, Maybe
“Call Me Maybe” is inarguably the best song to ever grace our planet. The godsend of a tune inspired some Ramafolk to dance, asking you to call Ramapo, maybe. However, it would be unwise and pointless to call Ramapo unless making a vulgar prank phone call. That is all. Enjoy the video with cameos from... MORE »
J. Lee’s to secede from Ramapo College
Mahwah, NJ- J. Lee’s President Jeremy Lin has declared that J. Lee’s will secede from Ramapo. Additionally in his press conference, President Lin outlined some of the future rules and regulations that will be enforced immediately. “No longer will we have to outsource our labor to China, all goods will be manufactured here and exported... MORE »
Class Registration Synonymous with Euthanasia
While other colleges and universities don’t get to enjoy the spice of life that is registering for classes Ramapo-style, students here are treated to Web for Students, a service provided by the mysterious Luminis. It’s simple. You go onto the site, pick out which courses you’d like to register for, click submit, and wait for... MORE »
Ramapo Basement’s New Head Writer Requirements
With the semester winding down and zero Ramapo Basement writers returning in the fall, the site is in need of a new head writer. If interested, please email your information to Strasser.jake@gmail.com. Requirements for the new head writer of Ramapo Basement include, but are not limited to all of the following: Equal Opportunity Bigotry: We... MORE »
The Grand Graduation Ceremony
Although graduating in Newark has its own excitements, we all know what graduation will actually be like… MORE »
Ramapo College Redefines The Hunger Games
Mahwah, NJ – By now, you are all fully acquainted with The Hunger Games due to the media forcing it down our throats like mothers with broccoli. We know, you “read the books and they’re sooo much better than the movie” – totally didn’t hear that about Twilight or Harry Potter, you hipster betch. For... MORE »
Spring Time is Mating Season, and Bitches Are Horny
Ah, yes, Spring has sprung…. From the end of March until the end of June, we are treated to some pleasant weather, the blossoming of flowers, and animals coming out of hibernation. These animals emerge for the mating season, where they take part in humping the shit out of each other in order to have... MORE »
Moneybang: The Tale of One Brave Man’s Quest to Forever Change the Game (of Hooking Up)
I started following Billy Rice around in the fall of 2010 because I believed in him. I believed in what he was doing; I felt he was changing the game. A game that had the same rigid set of rules in regard to scouting talent for as long as I can remember. The game was... MORE »
Studying “Party Girl” Annoyed With Loud Drunks Outside
Anita Wetcrotch, a junior at Ramapo College, has a physics test tomorrow. You might not know her by name, but you may recognize her from her various roles around campus: The girl who’s sleeping with the baseball team The trashed girl at the party The obnoxious girl screaming outside of your window past 2am The... MORE »
Dear Ramapo Students Who Write “Dear ____________” Facebook Statuses:
Stop. Please stop? Pretty please with an attention craving Ramapo sophomore girl on top? We get it… your air conditioner isn’t turning on properly. I promise you, however, that this is not some elaborate ploy by the maintenance men at Ramapo to piss “only you” off. And to all those “only me’s” out there that... MORE »