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Are Pumpkins More Delicious Or Deadly?
Mahwah, NJ – It has been 23 days since the beginning of Autumn. This means that every beverage, piece of clothing, and homework assignment on Ramapo’s Mahwah campus has the right to be pumpkin-related. However, the investigative team here at Ramapo Basement has uncovered the scary (like Halloween H20 scary) truth behind this yearly pumpkin... MORE »
Students Already Plan to Skip Class Because of Hurricane Irene
Students across the country have already begun emailing professors excuses for not attending classes this week, citing the effects of Hurricane Irene. “How can I go to class at a time like this?” asked University of Texas sophomore Gary Willard. “It’s raining on the east coast, grocery stores are out of Funions. It’s madness!” Students... MORE »
Professor Arrested on Suspicions of Cooking Meth; AMC Suing
On Monday, Irina Kristy, a 74-year-old math professor at Boston University, was arrested on allegations that she has been running a methamphetamine laboratory out of her home in Somerville, MA. Kristy has been placed on administrative leave by the university. Shortly after being taken into custody, an additional allegation surfaced: intellectual property theft. Upon hearing... MORE »
The 7 Week Staycation
As the SUNY Plattsburgh campus became progressively muddier (apparently snowfall decided to skip us completely, due thankfully to global warming) we took strides towards our lengthy winter vacation. When searching for fallback schools, in case we weren’t accepted into our first choice at the local community college, it was important to rate the plusses and... MORE »
There Is Something Wrong With This Picture of Bernie Fine
I’m left wondering if they did that on purpose. Source: siphersaysstuff.tumblr.com/ MORE »
Hell Yeah Quidditch Team, Hell yeah!
Only took a deal with the mafia, 2 broken fingers and half a year to find these guys. But here it is, Mizzou’s quidditch team. And yes, the girl in the picture is trying to jump, “I want it to look like i’m flying!” MORE »
Local High School Kids Have Nowhere to Party
Local Syracuse high school Senior, Lacey Mazza, is concerned about Syracuse University’s school year coming to an end. “During the school year, we’d all pretty much just dress up [read: slut it up] and walk right into house parties, sometimes talk our way into the frats, but now that all the students are home for... MORE »
Pages Affiliates Brokenhearted Over Cafe’s Planned Menu Redesign
Since its grand opening in 1953, Pages patrons could stand in line and ponder their lunch or breakfast choice while viewing a rotating display of options on a TV screen. This screen continues to be a fixture of Pages to this very day. “We were pioneers then,” cafe founder Ansel Whitmore reminisced, “We had the... MORE »