A Mizzou student is undergoing therapy after an
emotional breakdown about the warm weather Missouri’s had recently.

Freshman Barbara Bumble was admitted into
counseling yesterday, sobbing and muttering incoherently about the end of the
world. According to a therapist, who
wished to remain anonymous for legality reasons, Bumble was tranquilized and
sent to the “quiet room” to sleep off her odd behavior.

The girl’s PA, Sarah Willis, felt that there were
signs hinting toward Bumble’s deterioration.
“She came into my room once asking about global warming,” said Willis.
“I gave her the Al Gore documentary about it and I never saw her after that,
even though I asked to have it back the next day.”

While Gore does have a reputation for terrifying
people with his large words and dramatic hand gestures, Bumble’s roommate said
that the girl sincerely feared the world was ending.

“She would sit at her laptop with the weather site
pulled up and just keep refreshing it,” said Laurie Cooke, her roommate. “She would run her hand through her hair so
much that it kept on falling out. It was
like she thought she was going to melt or something.”

Bumble’s mother shared a Skype message Bumble had
sent the day before her institutionalization, another warning sign that went
ignored. “I love you guys. We are all going to melt like that ice-cream
cone Danny [her brother] knocked out of my hands at Six Flags. Fuck you for that, Dan.”

Her therapist concluded that Bumble was
experiencing “Gore Syndrome.” 

“He gets
into people’s heads and completely changes their perception of the world,” she
said. “Common side-effects are fear of
leaving the house, bursting into tears when seeing images of polar bears, and
obsession with weather patterns.”

Bumble was unavailable for comment, but her
therapist passed along a message for her, which Bumble had scrawled on a piece
of paper. It said, “This warm weather
means there is global warming. It’s
real. And we are all going to die.”