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Whispers Bar Mitzvah
I just walked into Whispers Café and saw the Bar Mitzvah party of the century taking place. Wish I was invited.
So, Like, Whadya Do Over Winter Break?
Winter break is dreadfully boring. Eat. Sleep. Watch shitty TV. Rinse and repeat. In years past, I have considered doing something productive during the holidays. Internship apps. Crocheting. Learning Gaelic. Do I ever accomplish any of these projects? Hell no. This year, however, I took on the task of cleaning out my closet. It was... MORE »
Five Successful Ways to Sit Alone
Sitting alone is an art attempted by many, mastered by few. The SSS (Solo Seat Selection) is a dilemma facing our generation of awkward texters everywhere! So how does one sit alone and not be eaten alive? How can you avoid the state of a lone, defenseless guppy in a sea filled with barracudas?! (Barracudas eat guppies, right?) Read... MORE »
Doomsday in a College Setting: Practical Information and Advice
Hello Campus Basement readers, and welcome to 2012. According to the always accurate Mayan calendar, we have finally reached the end of days. Soon, the sky will collapse in on us, painfully crushing every living human soul while leaving our planet a mere particle of dust with no evidence of past life forms and certainly no evidence of last... MORE »
How WashU Stole Christmas (and Kept it)
Every student down at WashU liked Christmas a lot”¦ (Except for the roughly 30% who were apathetic or anti-commercialism.)But WashU, though its colors are green and red, did NOT!WashU hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season! (Except for selling holiday-themed paraphernalia at the bookstore.) Now, please don’t ask why. No one quite knows the reason.It could... MORE »
An Entirely Unhelpful Guide to Senior Year Housing
Thinking about getting off-campus housing as a senior? Don’t. The best advice is to quit while you are ahead. But if you are feeling especially determined, read on for the steps to finding your dream (read: poorly furnished and extremely grimy) apartment senior year. When you arrive at school in the fall junior... MORE »
Megabus: The Time of Your Life
Everyone should take the Megabus to Chicago at least once. It’s a weird, character-building activity that makes us all better, more accepting humans in less than a day. It’s downright transformative! I’ve had the great fortune of riding the big blue bus not once, but twice, so I can write this list of things... MORE »
Academia Never Sleeps
As the much-anticipated sweater weather season and the equally-exciting midterms season have finally come upon us, the natural habitat of the WashU student has shifted dramatically. On a late night studying for midterms, you might ask yourself, as I do, what is this new territory of academia and imprisonment? Of studies and dungeons? Of all-nighters and... MORE »
Curricular Planner Designed by Ex-Nazi Scientist
Wash U’s Office of Public Relations revealed a shameful secret yesterday””the curricular planner function on Webstac, designed to help students organize the credits they must achieve to graduate, was designed by Detlef von Braun, formerly a rocket scientist in Hitler’s Third Reich. Von Braun worked closely with Hitler and other SS higher-ups, and his... MORE »
Disappointed Jewish Boy Receives School Supplies for Hanukkah, Again
David Steinberg was eager to get home from college for winter break; he couldn’t wait to celebrate Hanukkah with his family. “I love all of the family traditions,” he was overheard saying to his campus Hillel representative, “we light the menorah, sing Hanukkah songs, and play dreidel, what could be better?” David’s explanation seemed a... MORE »
Proper Paper Extension Etiquette
As a humanities major, I infrequently have to deal with the mental and emotional Olympics that may characterize an exam, and to rub it in a little more, I have never taken a night exam in my life. On the flip side, I almost didn’t graduate because of lack of NS courses, and I do... MORE »
All of the Lights
Not to bring up old matters, but WHO SAID YES to those DAMN OVERHEAD LIGHTS in Whispers. The University has forced me to call it”¦.Whispers time of death: 10:07AM February, 13th 2012. The minute I swung open the outrageously heavy Whispers door on Monday morning, and my eyes were greeted by the blinding new fluorescent lights,... MORE »
Why You Should Join Wellbridge Gym”¦at least for one week.
Wellbridge Athletic Club & Spa located in Clayton, MO is home to the fittest and richest Wash U students. But you are in luck, Stud Life is offering a one-week free trial for you to get a sneak peak of all that you love and everything you can’t afford. Act quickly, this offer expires on... MORE »
Tulip Mania at Wash U
WUSTL.EDU’s official video “Life at Washington University in St. Louis” Showing prospective freshmen the true highlights of our campus and daily college life”¦OUR STUNNING TULIPS. We get it”¦Wash U likes flowers. Check it out at https://wustl.edu/about/sightsandsounds/ MORE »
Who Said Yes to That?
When I think about what a wonderful place WashU is, my heart warms immensely.That being said, there are a couple things that I don’t quite understand, and I often ask myself, “WHO SAID YES TO THAT?” -Only leaving room for three booths in the Whispers floor plan.-Spicy pistachio nuts instead of goldfish as Whispers snackbites.-No... MORE »
Have An Orangey Day at “Orange Leaf”
Next time you pull into Schnuck’s to reload your OJ, milk, and Cocoa Puffs, be sure to stop into the new club/café/hotspot “Orange Leaf: America’s Frozen Yogurt.” Entering the vicious frozen yogurt market, and competing against established names like “Fro Yo” and “Chill,” “Orange Leaf” has really sparked some interest in the Wash U community.... MORE »
DO’s and DON’Ts of Sorority Recruitment 2012
Get ready to laugh, cry, and eat your heart out. It’s RECRUITMENT 2012!!! With over 360 PNMs (potential new members) all signed up to come back to WUSTL in early January for rushy rush rush, I thought I could offer up some helpful advice. Listen up Ladies of 2015: DO’s and DON’Ts of RECRUTIMENT 2012... MORE »
TOPPLE THE TWIGLET: BODY IMAGE ON CAMPUS
Special FAT TALK FREE WEEK edition: If we really want to have a successful Fat Talk Free Week where we tell all our friends how luscious their hair is, we need to do something drastic about “The Bunny” statue that lurks on campus. Sure she is supposed to be sculpted after “The Thinker,” but... MORE »
HOT HOT HOT! Wash U’s Newest Student Run Business!
GRAND OPENING: Wash U’s Newest Student-Run Business: “Fuckin’ On The 40″ After all”¦ you’ll always remember your first 40″¦ We had a naming competition”¦ -Fuckin’ On The 40 (WINNER!) -Wydown on Me -Watch U Wash -Forplay on Forsyth It’s about time! No more going abroad to Amsterdam to get your kinky sex toys.... MORE »
OH that good old midwestern pride
Saw this one in the village parking lot. MORE »