With a couple months of school under our belts, we should all be familiar with the lunchtime madness at the DUC. 15-minute salad lines? A sad reality. You want a taco salad? Get ready to stand around for a ten-minute panic attack about whether they are going to run out of guac before you get to order. Lunch rush hits its prime right after 12 and 1pm. There are a crucial ten minutes of terror when you need to make fast decisions if you are going to get it in and out of the 1853 Diner line in record time AND score a round table in the Orchid Room. Sometimes it’s the most stressful part of your day. Here’s your ideal minute by minute breakdown:
12:57 pm You just got out of class three minutes early. SCORE. Book it to the DUC.
1:00 pm Arrive at the DUC and use your three minute head start to analyze lunch options while lines are still non-existent. In the best-case scenario you would have used the WUSTL Dining app to check what the stir-fry station has today, but if you aren’t as forward thinking just wander around until you make a decision. There are 4 minutes until you have to start dodging and weaving around other indecisive people, so be snappy about it.
1:02 pm Start panicking because you can’t decide and the salad line is already to Café Bergeson so that’s definitely not an option anymore. Try to disregard whatever the Connie’s Choice table tents say about this month being veggie month because the salad is out. Quesadilla? That’s out too.
1:04 pm You just got distracted by a friend in line for the turkey burger and sweet potato fries, which sounds like exactly what you felt like eating, but now you’ve lost precious time with chit chat. Reassess your options because you have just squandered your head start. Bad move.
1:07 pm Lunch rush is in full swing. Due to a fatal combination of indecisiveness and socialization, your only option is the vegetarian station. No one is ever at the vegetarian station because it is notoriously hit or miss. Lucky for you it’s baked ziti day! The DUC lunch gods are shining down. Try harder next time though, and that taco salad will be yours in under two minutes.
