The finest alternative source of this week’s DailyTrojan Headlines

Noticeable lack of USC student participation
in Occupy Wall Street Protest

Looks like the Protest of the Occupy Wall Street Protest was a
smashing success!!


Students struggle to
maintain internships and GPA

It’s time to make a decision: which one do we kill?


More than one inch of
rain falls on USC

Significantly more than one inch of me was affected by this.


Five Guys opening at W.
27th Place

In-N-Out, I’m sorry, but a girl can’t wait forever.


USC Marshall students
compete for prize to fund their business plans

“Business plans” for very under-funded “business time.” Ooooh



The Row begins fire
safety drills and fire education thanks to USC Fire Safety and Emergency

The Row plans to celebrate this new knowledge at its next
party, ” Safe Bros with Fire Hos(e)”


Web Registration site
layout changes

As expected, everyone’s Web Registration statuses have been
saying how much they hate the new Web Registration.


Professors encourage interdisciplinary

I’m surprised this is still an issue in the 21st
century! Think about it: How many of us would never have been born without
interdisciplinary dating?


Student receives monetary
award from the Astronaut Scholarship Foundation

“Here’s a little something to use when you go to the m- Oh I’m
sorry I forgot we don’t do that anymore” ““ NASA


Decline in transfer
student acceptance rate

It’s not a matter of getting into the University, it’s just
that less people want to be friends with them.


Students react
negatively to debit card fees

Which is funny because normally students really enjoy fees of
all kinds! They just LOVE em.


USC Tailgaters ignore
new recycling bins

It’s not a matter of people ignoring them, it’s just that less
people want to be friends with them.