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Mann Library Sees Increased Attendance Through Rental of Sex Rooms
In attempt to attract more students to the library and to reduce student stress during finals week, Mann library converted all of its rarely-used study rooms into sex rooms. This initiative was sponsored by Cornell CARES, and proved to be a major hit over the course of study week. “Hardly anybody would ever rent out... MORE »
Weekly Sex with the CB Staff: Cheating?
Once a week has never been so satisfying. Weekly Sex ““ My girlfriend wants to “take a break” over winter break. I know this is to have some… freedom at home, which I’m actually excited to take advantage of myself, but the thought of my girlfriend with anyone else kills me. I know that’s a... MORE »
Dear Frat Brothers…Sincerely, Reply All
Dear Joe Frat: It’s me, Reply All. Remember me? Of course you do. To many of you, I’m simply known as Reply. Unfortunately, Reply is my brother. My parents weren’t very creative, and because my brother is more of a private, shy guy, they figured they’d try again with me, maybe see if they could... MORE »
Professors looking forward to stress, sexual thrill, of finals week
Finals week is known within the bowels of every college across the country, and DeVry, as “more brootal” than even the most hymen shattering and sticky of frat initiations. Adderall, rope, and razor blade stocks all shoot sky high (but nowhere near as high as the students) and many freshman are weeded out, opting to... MORE »
Bernie Fine Fired by Syracuse University Amid ESPN’s Audio Tape Release with Wife
University fires Fine hours after ESPN aired audio recordings with coach’s wife. For more on this story go here: https://abcn.ws/ugPgEI MORE »
Finals Fornication
It is terribly important that we all at Cornell, get A’s on every exam and every paper. But, the most important weeks of our year come in December and May. Finals week. From interviews and experience Cornell Basement has found that the ultimate key to success during Finals Week is sex. Yes, you can be... MORE »
Weekly Sex with the CB Staff: Virginity
Dear Weekly Sex, With all the different kinds of sex out there, I was wondering what you all think it means to lose your virginity, or be a virgin? – No Reason Just Wondering, sophomore Dear Mr./Ms. Wondering, Whoa. Are you telling me that other stuff counts towards your non-virgin status? Why have I never... MORE »
Warren Hall Hopes You Are Practicing Safe Studying
As finals week progresses Cornell Administrative staff wish all of the students a safe and healthy experience. Walking to Mann today it was difficult NOT to notice the giant blown-up condoms coming out of Warren Hall. Let it be a reminder to us all on this fine day: you’re super horny, but you’re in the... MORE »
Blog of a Frat Bro: Finals Week Edition
‘Sup, my nuggets? That’s the safest way I can use the word I should be allowed to use, but fuckin’ peepz don’t get that I’m fuckin’ Sirius: mad black, yo. Dat’s da bull standard for ya, da bullshit standard. N E way, hope your all treatin’ you’re final exams like butts and stickin’ it to... MORE »