Tuesday morning was a glorious day for SUA. The Syracuse University Ambulance core was finally lauded for their outstanding achievement in first response and overall patient treatment, receiving the “Best Ambulance In All Of Syracuse University Award.”

Some puzzled students wondered, “How many ambulances are there at Syracuse?” Kim Reeves, an junior biology major asked, “Isn’t SUA the one and only ambulance service at SU?” Regardless, SUA has continually worked to save the Syracuse community from such outbreaks as the swine flu, bubonic plague, and Mayfest 2008, 2009. Students enjoy the free service of SUA, instead of the costly rides from Rural Metro.

Crew Chief John Schneider exclaimed, “It’s about time we receive an award for putting up with all these crazy students. You never know what you’re gonna see on a Friday night.” Attendant Pete Everson added, “I’ve been thrown up on eight times. EIGHT TIMES! I should get a goddamn medal of honor!”

SUA members work two different shifts. One from 5 PM to 10 PM, the other an overnight from 10 PM to 8 AM. Generally, calls flock in at around 2 AM, but every so often there is a homeless man trapped in the cemetary around 8 PM.

Next time you are picked up by SUA, remember that you are being treated by the best student EMTs on campus. Or don’t remember anything: you’re probably wasted.