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Pubic Safety Department
Perhaps taking to heart my comments concering the competence and overall affectiveness of the public “safety” department, the Hofstra boner strokers and ass shakers (let’s be honest, the economy is tough) have decided to do something practical and useful for the entirety of the student body. In between handing over cash to Bernie Madoff and... MORE »
A Very Kahrispy Kristmas
Hofstra’s public safety department has a long and proud history of ensuring the minimal safety of the public, and by “public”, we mean “2 1/2 people”, and that’s on a good day. “Good days” meaning that for the public safety officers at Hofstra, it might as well be the battle of Iwo Jima. They very... MORE »
Professors looking forward to stress, sexual thrill, of finals week
Finals week is known within the bowels of every college across the country, and DeVry, as “more brootal” than even the most hymen shattering and sticky of frat initiations. Adderall, rope, and razor blade stocks all shoot sky high (but nowhere near as high as the students) and many freshman are weeded out, opting to... MORE »
Hofstra brings back football, shithead football fans, stabbings
After dropping the football program in 2009, and being without a football team, or greasy football fans, for the last two years, Hofstra is reintroducing football to their sports repertoire. “It’s been a long time coming”, says Hofstra President Stuart Rabinowitz. “After two years of just no football, the standard college campus ratio of homicidal... MORE »