tagged obama »

Article by Jared Martin
March 17, 2012

Columbians Withhold Sex Over Obama Controversy, Barnard Women Rejoice

On Saturday, March 3rd, Lindsay Lohan debuted her new inflatable face on Saturday Night Live, scaring children, parole officers, and Aaron Samuelsez across this great nation. In equally exciting news, March 3rd brought with it the announcement that President Barack Obama will be speaking at Barnard College, the most prestigious of all female colleges barring Rupaul’s... MORE »

Article by amcguire
February 29, 2012

International Waiting-in-Line-Symposium Coming to Miami This Spring

The National Society for Line Waiting announced this week that due to the overwhelming amount of students who have been forming lines to get tickets to events such as President Obama’s speech last week and Billy Joel’s Q&A in March, the University of Miami would have the honor of hosting the annual “International Waiting-In-Line-Symposium.” The prestigious event features all... MORE »

Article by hohun71
February 24, 2012

Obama Not Only Muslim But Pees Sitting Down

Shortly before President Obama was elected into office the nation was racked with fear that he might be of the Islamic faith. Now, with the 2012 election looming, it appears that Obama’s religion will be questioned once more. What voters need to know, however, is that there are more pressing issues regarding Obama that must... MORE »

Article by dmargalit
January 26, 2012

Phi-Psi contracted by Obama to work door at Glick Field House

Ann Arbor, Michigan – On Wednesday night thousands of students lined up outside of the Union to have a chance to get a ticket for “Remarks by President Obama,” despite the excruciatingly boring name. While some students couldn’t fathom the existence of times with only three digits (“You mean 17:00 AM, right?), let alone getting... MORE »

Article by Jared Martin
January 20, 2012

Shit To Read Whilst Shitting: A Series

PART DEUX: SHIT GETS LITERARY The bathroom is a dirty place. Not just in the “you-live-with-three-girls-so-there-is-a-troll-head-of-hair-growing-from-the-drain” kind of way, but also in the “have-sex-hanging-from-the-shower-curtain-rod” kind of way. Taking both of these into consideration, I have found the latest inSTALLment of STRWSAS: Sea Oak by George Saunders. Now I know what some of you may be... MORE »

Article by Leah Folta
December 20, 2010

2010: USC’s Year in Headlines

Court upholds USC’s trademark of interlocking SC logo, South Carolina’s trademark rejected : The judge defends his decision ““ “you try saying “Gamecock’ with a straight face.” Chik Fil A opens near campus : Spicy chicken deluxe experience declared necessary, religious. Unfortunately, I continue to be incapable of walking past Chipotle NCAA violations, sanctions, ban : Too soon. July... MORE »

Picture by Anonymous
March 19, 2010
Video by ChillBro
March 19, 2010

Obama can’t spell Syracuse

It’s SYR how hard could it be? MORE »