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How To Spend Your Leap Day 2012
Unbeknownst to people, unbeknownst is a real word. But also unbeknownst to most people is the fact that Leap Day is a major world holiday. I learned this while watching NBC’s highly acclaimed police drama “30 Rock”. The episode, entitled “Leap Day”, taught me that nothing you do matters on this day, which comes around... MORE »
Santorum Deems College Unnecessary; Students Rebel
In a recent interview presidential candidate Rick Santorum said, “The indoctrination that is going on at the university level is a harm to our country.” After hearing these wise words thousands of students around the world rebelled against their institutions all with the campaign, “Puppets no more!” Santorum is widely known to have a concrete... MORE »
Week in Review: The apple doesn’t fall far from the News!
Your second-best source for the past week’s Daily Trojan Headlines. Office of College Advising tells students to hold off on grad school In the same way that somewhere, a well-meaning high schooler is telling her ugly best friend to hold off on that love confession she’s been planning for a hot guy that has never... MORE »
And on your left we see……….
Admit it: you, like everybody else, went on a supervised tour of Syracuse University some time in your past. We all remember being herded like cattle around the quad, being told constantly that the steps of Carnegie Library led nowhere as our parents embarrassed us in front of our elder classmates. Judging by the excess... MORE »
HU Law Just Got Served
The oh-so-amazing Hofstra Law School is being sued as per se* part of a class action law suit by a lawyer with a name suggesting connections to a famous jeans company. One may suggest this to be a conspiracy urging more lawyers to wear jeans in the courtroom. Others believe this would not have happened... MORE »
Breaking News: Guys and Girls CAN Be Just Friends
The great question of “can guys and girls be just friends?’ is often answered with roaring controversy. Most women say sure, of course they can. Most men say hell mother fucking no, they cannot. Unbalanced emotion, confusion, desperation, horniness, and drunkenness often complicate the issue. As we learned in Sex Ed, guys and girls have... MORE »
“I Got Sooo Drunk Last Night,” Report Nation’s Future Leaders
On Sunday morning, numerous first-hand accounts revealed that a substantial percentage of America’s soon-to-be luminaries were severely intoxicated and self-incapacitated on the preceding evening. “Man, I was fucked up last night,” said future New York State Senator David Adelsberg ’12, “This hangover is killing me!” “My futon is covered in puke,” added the future Congressman.... MORE »
Mizzou Also Gets 387th Pick; He deserves recognition too!
Dorial Greene-Beckham, Mizzou’s new football pride and joy, may have gotten most of the recognition, but he wasn’t the only one recently picked up by Mizzou. Mizzou also received the ESPNU’s 387th ranked player, Gene Troust, and he claims he deserves recognition as well. “I have worked so hard to play football in college, and... MORE »