tagged 2011 »

Article by gpsmonkey
December 20, 2011

Bryant Plans to Hire Rod Blagojevich in 2026

Former Governor of Illinois, Rod Blagojevich, was sentenced to fourteen years in federal prison several weeks ago on charges of mail and wire fraud and solicitation of bribery while in office. Yesterday, Bryant announced that Blagojevich will be added as one of the university’s newest faculty members “immediately following his departure” from prison. As a... MORE »

Article by gpsmonkey
November 27, 2011

Students Rave About Trojan Brand’s “Bear” Skin Condoms

Trojan Brand Condoms’ newest product launch, the Trojan BareSkin condoms, has been one of this year’s hottest new items in premarital pregnancy prevention. The new product claims to be 40% thinner than the leading brand and made of traditional latex materials. One of the largest misconceptions (no pun intended) of the new Trojan BareSkin condoms... MORE »

Video by
November 20, 2011

Good Deer Hunting

made for the Bryant viral video contest MORE »

Article by gpsmonkey
November 10, 2011

“New” Bryant Center Reportedly to Become Hogwarts Replica

  Reports of a “new” Bryant Center have been the talk of the Bryant University campus for the past couple of weeks. Since its resurrection in the mid-1980s, the Bryant Center has had little to no renovations to keep up with the rest of Bryant’s more modern appearance. Outdated furniture, limited office space, unsatisfactory dining... MORE »

Article by Sdolph2
November 8, 2011

Sports: Little sisters of the poor draws in exhibition games against Bulldogs.

A group of nuns are very upset about a common phrase using their organizations namesake. They were especially resentful when Gordon Gee (Commissioner at Ohio State University) commented that in the Big 10 football conference “We don’t play little sisters of the poor,” obviously implying that nuns who are part of this organization are weak... MORE »

Article by Sdolph2
November 5, 2011

Students Speak Out About “Students Speak out”

Sophomores Josh Cutting, William, and Maria are upset about the students speak out section. When asked, they cited that the recent Archway section didn’t actually talk about relevant issues. “I’m not talking, wondering or thinking about fucking bricks.”   These students are upset because real issues on campus could be recognized in the student newspaper... MORE »

Article by Sdolph2
November 2, 2011

Press Release: Apple to Launch Siri-powered Microwave by End of 2011

Executives at Apple knew as far back as 2009 that the company planned to eventually build its own microwave oven, sources told Toby Kennedy of the Boston Globe. Jobs had reportedly been mastering plans and executing a SWOT analysis which would help Apple enter the competitive consumer appliance market.   The innovative food cooking device, called the Apple... MORE »

Article by Sdolph2
October 31, 2011

Geese continue to ‘Occupy’ university campus. Student residents begin to feel the impacts

Campus occupiers continue to ravage the Bryant University campus. Student residents are beginning to feel the stress and impact of the ever present, and ever growing Canadian goose population. “Our beautiful campus is littered with goose shit! I can’t walk to class or to the library without stepping on a fecal land mine,” said Junior... MORE »

Article by Sdolph2
October 28, 2011

Bryant to move back to original Providence campus after dispute with Mowry family

Reports published in several local town records indicate a civil dispute between distant family members of John Mowry and Bryant University. The Mowry Farm was the original estate belonging to the 420 acres where the current Bryant campus stands today. Prior to selling it’s land to Earl Tupper, the Mowry family included a “sale of... MORE »