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Most Hilarious Pepper Spray Article Reactions
So apparently a lot of people enjoyed my article lampooning the UC Davis police brutality affair, “Food and Drug Administration Declares Pepper Spray a Vegetable.” Since I posted it on Saturday, it has spread throughout all the internets in true viral fashion, collecting an astounding FOURTEEN Google +1’s. But for every reader who loved my... MORE »
Food and Drug Administration Declares Pepper Spray a Vegetable
The US Congress and the Department of Agriculture have collectively agreed that pepper spray, an inflammatory agent commonly used in riot control and personal self-defense, is now publicly recognized as a member of the vegetable food group. With this declaration, pepper spray now joins the ranks of carrots, arugula, chickpeas, and broccoli as an official... MORE »
Occupy Syracuse
Occupy Syracuse protesters camp out in downtown Syracuse. MORE »
Geese continue to ‘Occupy’ university campus. Student residents begin to feel the impacts
Campus occupiers continue to ravage the Bryant University campus. Student residents are beginning to feel the stress and impact of the ever present, and ever growing Canadian goose population. “Our beautiful campus is littered with goose shit! I can’t walk to class or to the library without stepping on a fecal land mine,” said Junior... MORE »
Week in Review: We Landed on the Moon!
7 Billion Served: The world population hit seven billion this week. Strangely enough, reports say that it took from Adam and Steve until 1804 to get to one billion, yet we reached seven billion in the 207 years since. How? It’s in the Bible: “And God said, “Let there be Viagra!'” Not-So-Big East: Yet another... MORE »
‘Occupy Gringotts’ Protests Shut Down Diagon Alley for Third Straight Day
Business on Diagon Alley remains at a standstill for the third day in a row this week as Occupy Gringotts protestors clog the streets, impeding traffic and halting business operations. Thousands of wizards from around the world remain convened outside of Gringotts as the protests continue. “One percent of magical creatures [goblins] control all of... MORE »
Occupy Wall Street Protester Worried His DVR Box Is Getting Full
It has been over a month since Occupy Wall Street protester Paul Flenderson set up camp in New York City’s Zuccotti Park equipped with nothing but a tent, a few basic daily necessities, and a sign reading “Corporations are not people.” However, the first-time protester is growing increasingly concerned about his digital video recorder box... MORE »
Week in Review: OccupyCampusBasement
OccupyWallStreet: Protests continued this week on Wall Street where thousands of people hanging out in Times Square continued to prove that you can’t get a job if you’re too busy hanging out in Times Square. T-T-T-Today, Junior!: Philip Garber, Jr., a 16-year-old taking classes at the County College of Morris received an email in which... MORE »