Former Governor of Illinois, Rod Blagojevich, was sentenced
to fourteen years in federal prison several weeks ago on charges of mail and
wire fraud and solicitation of bribery while in office.

Yesterday, Bryant announced that Blagojevich will be added
as one of the university’s newest faculty members “immediately following his
departure” from prison. As a future member of Bryant’s Department
of Philosophy and Ethics
, Blagojevich is said to have many years of
experience in politics and ethical decision making within the business world.

“This is a win-win for the university, his rap-sheet makes
his salary half price plus he carries a household name! We can’t lose on this
one”¦” said an unconfirmed source.

When Blagojevich was asked to comment on his future
employment he said, “I don’t know who Bryant is, but he offered me a lot of
money”¦ so I said yes!” It is clear that
the former governor just took the highest bid.

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