Nobody attended Frank Haggert’s 21st birthday
party on Friday. Or Wendy Yu’s last varsity field hockey game as a senior. Or
sorority Phi Kappa’s fundraiser for struggling local elementary schools. Creating
event pages on Facebook used to be a great way to spread the word about house
parties, sporting events, and philanthropies. Unfortunately, nobody seems to
bother checking their event invitations anymore, and it’s all due to a select
group of students at SU’s Whitman School of Management.
Students in the Entrepreneurship and Emerging Enterprises
(EEE) program have recently been given an assignment to come up with their own
innovative business ideas. But before these ideas can come to life, they need
public feedback on whether or not they’re any good.
As a result, EEE students have flooded countless event
inboxes, pleading with their Facebook friends to please, for the love of all
that is holy, I know this is super annoying, and I know it’s clichÃ© to say how
super annoying it is, but PLEASE CLICK ON THIS LINK AND TAKE THIS SURVEY FOR MY
EEE PROJECT! IT’LL ONLY TAKE 20 MINUTES!!!! LOL!!!
These student surveys feature such thought-provoking questions
as “If a wireless tissue box existed, would you buy it?” and “How much would
you be willing to pay for a child adoption service that delivers right to your
door?” While the surveys may provide valuable feedback to help the students
develop their business ideas, Facebook users have become overwhelmed by their
“I used to get excited when I saw a new event invite,” said senior
TRF major Adam Greene. “But now I just ignore them. In all likelihood, it’s
just another obnoxious EEE survey. Either that or some drunken asshole I
haven’t spoken to since high school dropped their phone in the toilet again and
needs my cell number.”
In other news, since Phi Kappa’s fundraiser for Syracuse
Elementary School was so sparsely attended, students are not expected to be
receiving desks for the next academic term.